I miss you when I can’t sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can’t eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don’t remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
And I’m always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
this month started of with the 15 year anniversary of my grandpa tysar’s passing, which on this particular day my grandma decided not to talk to anyone or see anyone. she wanted to be alone. speaking of his death, i cannot believe it has been 15 years! 15 years ago i was in 8th grade and my grandpa and grandma lived up north together, enjoying their last years together alone… he was in the hospital and the staff let her know that family should all come visit because he could be leaving us. the whole family rushed to his bedside that night, he was in good spirits and happy to see us all. some people stayed another night with him and my grandma, others chose to go back home for work the next day. the next day we were being watched by a family friend for breakfast and lunch time, then she brought us to the hospital to visit, talk, hold his hand. he was sleeping…. then it all happened quickly before dinner time…. he took his last breaths. tears came. hugs were given, hours passed and leaving was hard. after time food was needed & we sadly realized the day was shared with my sisters birthday. we went out to dinner, sang a horrible happy birthday to a sad little girl in 5th grade. the next day family reappeard and funeral plans were made and we all went through the motions….
wow sorry for the sad throwback but sometimes with the sad memories brings on good. and with the start of the month also came my sisters birthday. this year she had our parents, gma, and us with ajs parents, gma, & sister go out to dinner. then after the younger crowed went out to this bumper car golf thing. it was fun! happppppy birthday to my sister who i like to pretend is still not 16yet! lol it’s craziness how fast the years go by and i blog about that often … but it’s so crazy fast watching someone you love blossom and grow from afar. little to me she may be but she is for sure the one i look up to. she should have been the big sister!
recently we went back to the gymnasics place that we celebrated last November Kaitlyn’s 7th birthday to now celebrate Jacob’s 3rd Birthday!! :) everyone had a really great time again with a spiderman theme! i love this place as everything is really organized etc. i am so0o0o going to bring my future kiddo’s here for fun and parties! this party for jacob me and leon brought abby! she had a blast! and is still talking about it! lol next month is my sister stephanie’s birthday :)
we had ANOTHER special birthday this month! DOZER BOY! lol doggie boxer birthday! our cutie patootie turned 5 years old this year! we cannot believe how fast and big he has grown over time! he is still our big puppy boy and oh he acts like a puppy still haha. for his dad we took him for a car ride and to the pet store. we love our fur babies so much! (more about them here)
EPILEPSY WARRIORNESS: i had a crazyyy seizure in my sleep that left me so0o sore and tired and for some reason i thought it was a “good idea” to go to frenkenmuth with my mom and grandma. i slept the whole way there and the whole way back. wasnt able to enjoy convos or the food. it was horrible! i hateeee epilepsy struggle days like this!! but i was a warrior and made it through! so that alone, even though my muscles hurt and my brain is still foggy, the day is gone & the seizure is done. I MADE IT! WARRIOR!!
In the spirit of today, Valentine’s Day here are our “date’s”:
Met 👫 6th Grade
Dating 🌹 May, 2010
Together 💖 2,467 Days
For V-day this year we didn’t celebrate too hard again lol. We made chili together at home and it was what made us happy :) no flowers, chocolates, or special dinner’s (although I WILL have us celebrate our seven year anniversry this may!) haha but in all seriousness it is a rare day that i don’t thank God for you! i love you Leon Calvert! your my best friend! ♥ happy 7th valantine’s day babe!
this week i had catechism scheduled as planned and was FINALLY able to see my kiddo’s for the first time since before christmas!!! reason being ;; there was no classes for christmas break .. once new years was over there was like TWO SNOW DAYS and a family day before i left for florida so i didnt get to see my students then either. THEN i went to florida and took off a tuesday to be with leon after which brings me to this week in FEBRUARY where i finally was able to see them! it was a lot of fun. we colored and enjoyed talking about our holidays etc etc while also trying my best to catch up on everything we lost! yikes! other than that loveliness i had 2 small seizures in the morning and luckily leon was canvased out of work that day to take care of me! i of course am feeling much better and rested all week. this weekend me and leon are also going to keep it calm. as of right now we have no valentines day plans for next week, like it matters we totally love the crap out of each other! do you all have any special vday plans for this up coming tuesday?
PS: happy 3rd birthday to my 2nd cousin jacob!!
since being back home it has of course been a COLD CHANGE and snowy! lots of snow when i arrived back to the mitten state! lol which was okay i am not complaining, it was just odd going from two opposites in a day lol. really nothing has been different, i missed leon A LOT! we missed eachother! he even slept on myside of the bed while i was gone .. oh my lanta so cute! lol i melted when he told me that lol. each night we have spent together of course soaking eachother up :) lol my clothes in the suitcase smell like the ocean, salty. thats how ariel smells too, i love it! wish i wouldnt go away but as soon as i wash everything it will. blah. so BACK TO THE GRID this week with the usual. i took off catechism to spend time with leon. i spent wednesday and thursday with grandma (love me some grandma days) and then sadly on friday we had to head to frenkenmuth for leon’s mom’s friends funeral :( we went to the ceremony mass then had a snack and chatted after with everyone. so that was a sucky start to the weekend but we kept busy with getting our errands done, lots of shopping and cleaning because leon was a lost puppy without me! lmao. but we ended he weekend last night with the annual SUPER BOWL PARTY! this year heather and derak hosted & we helped with the food :) it was lots of fun, good to see everyone, and we even brought dozer! lmao
FLORIDA WAS AMAZING! we started off with anxiety lol and my dad had me use a wheelchair in the detroit airport haha, he is a goof and loves me so much and worries about me. but the flight was fine, i didnt have any seizure episodes on the flight there or back or any episodes while i was on the vacation at all! i was even able to have a glass of wine or two while i was out :) it was splendid. i didddddddd get drunky cassie on accident but shhh cause im confident i kept it under wraps lmao. okay so basically we went from airport to resort in naples and didnt leave the resort once until it was time to leave lmao. we had an awesome room, and in my favorite color right off the beach. we enjoyed the pool & beach and tanning together and loved going out to breakfast each morning with a lot of good laughs & eating my new FAVORITE: eggs benedict. the weather in naples florida was beautiful and warm while the air smelled wonderful. the sand was clean and packable – i really liked the feeling of it lol. i loved looking for shells, me and my dad picked out a couple together for me to take home and i even found a SAND DOLLAR! unforunately it didnt make it back safely in the trip back home and broke, sad but it had the “5 doves” inside. the only souviener my dad let me take home was my memories and pictures lmao. frugal guy but i wouldnt have it any other way! the trip was amazing! bon fires on the beach, walks on the ocean, sunsets, pizza partys in the hotel rooms, drinks in the hot tub, wine served to you on the beach ♥ a VERY PRICEY heaven lol.
oh my lordy have i been busy busy and have been getting ready for my trip to florida tomorrow morning, which i am so0o0o pumped for! leon had Monday, Martin Luthar King day off and was able to come home tuesday, which was awesome to spend extra time with him before my trip xoxo. because of the trip stress i did have a small seizure on tuesday at some point but i have been trying to stay positive and after i was feeling better this past week we have been going to the gym again (yay) and i have been counting my calories which i have been liking. we also went back and renewed my medical marijuana card because of the laws etc and its not given at a regular pharmacy in this day n age yet. saturday i got my nails and wax done, making me feel all sassy for the trip and monday we got some last stop shopping done for things i would need for the trip! $55.00 on crap pretty much lol. then tonight i had family night at catechism and leon helped me pack :) i leave tomorrow for the airport in the morning with leon and my dad ♥ wish me luck with NO SEIZURES on the airplane andddd on the trip! Anxiety is high but prayers!
PS: Happy Birthday to my baby boy Efferson Emanuel!!!
hello hello to drama =/ of course this blog is public so i dont like to air dirty laundry (lame for the readers i know but… it just isnt even good enough for a private post, promise the good ones will have those! lol) howeverrrr there was some tears dropped and words spoke with a relative. both parties needing to talk it out more so we shall see. i will say my grandma has been a wonderful and helpful support in keeping me calm and understanding about everything. best frand she is ♥ ♥ ♥
epilepsy: blahhhhh i was home alone and i guess i was emotional and had an episode that made me fall, possibly grabbing the cat tree down with me which in turn hit our living room window and broke it! yikes! sidesalad: it is okay as we are getting new doors & windows this year anywhichway — BUT back to the story, i fell and i guess everyone couldnt get a hold of me, the dogs were going crazy, and leons dad came over to check on me and found me on the ground with the cat tree on me with glass everywhere! scary but i guess after some time of coming back to alertness i was okay. sore, but okay. :) #epilepsywarrior!
as for random happenings TRUMP IS PRESIDENT lol. Happy Birthday tooooo my Step Dad Dennis! love you! andddd we did game night with linds and steve at our house, MONOPOLY! hahah which has been fun hanging out with the two of them again yes yes! and we also did some #tysartime over michelle and jeffs for some furtah christmas! our last gift openings! (well for the kiddos lol) other than that we have been trying to start a new year normal. leon work mon-thurs. counseling mon, catechism tues, & grandmas on wed’s :) so far so good except catechism was canceled this week to a snow day! other than that i have taken another its a new year facebook leave lol for a week or two im sure .. we shall see. until then i usually go nuts on instagram and recently i am a snapchat fan! whoa nelly!
leon has had this week off so it has been nice spending it with him a we ring in the new year of 2017 ♥ we havent done any fighting etc he just starts getting bored towards the end of his vacations lol. so during this vacation i ended up getting a little sick, not bad, just a sore throat. i went to the dr’s so he checked on it and i also talked to him about TMJ from biteing down during seizures etc. nothing really came of it, it still hurts sometimes =/ on FRIDAY we all went over to the “eastpointe estate” lol to celebrate her birthday :) happy birthday heather!!!! i got her an alex an ani that donated to the american heart foundation. then saturday was new years eve! we all headed over to steve’s and went CRAZY in the food department! lol we are all nuts. so we had lots of fun all night of course and midnight came too soon lol. we all stayed the night and did breakfast the next morning with left overs lol. THENNNNN because everyone was too drunk to play any board games new years eve lol steve n linds came over new years day for game night haha.
yesturday night we headed over to my brothers house to celebrate my sister angela’s birthday! it was nice getting together and we were able to exchange xmas gifts <3 after it all last night i ended up having a seizure in my sleep =/ today i am doing okay just relaxing and resting more after all the christmass and partying madness lol. today leon went back to work so now its time to get back to a sense of normal. get all the xmas decor outta the house, clean up, and the routine back in action lol. only one more xmas adventure left this up coming weekend with the tysars to see the furtahs :)
random, my vantel pearls finally showed up! so annoying lol. never going to get into that crap again lol. they got me hook line and sinker! in random sad news: facebook live is fairly new: some girl in the USA commited suicide live online :'( WOW – WTF
& a sidesalad: no catechism this week still, winter break! haven’t seen them since before xmas!
another christmas in the books! plans that were made changed a little bit but mostly went through. christmas eve leon and i relaxed then went to his aunts at 1pm and enjoyed a lot of fun with the family until about 9pm. we played new games, i won a round of LCR, and we got goofy funny white elephant gifts. the fun seems to of course be spending time together, but watching the little ones grow and enjoy being young together :) it is fun to watch, to talk and laugh about etc. it makes christmas just that much more special when little ones are around i think. sooooo after we left his aunts we went home to wait for santa! not really, like i said in my last post, we know everything we got, and i wrapped the gifts, even the ones i got haha. (anti climactic.) so, lol really we went home, i cleaned a little, and he passed out on the couch. i put all the gifts under the tree and went to bed.
Christmas morning leon and i slept in! which i NEVER so on christmas lol. we opened our gifts one by one even knowing what they all were then made breakfast and relaxed. once we got ready to go over my aunts house we stopped by leons parents house for a little while to visit and see what abby got from santa :) my aunts house was fun! this year some people who normally visit, visited other sides of their families (its so hard to choose and make everyone happy! especialy with kiddos!) so the TYSAR clan was a lot smaller this year. after my aunts we all headed over to steve’s house for his annual POKER GAME! even tho we ended up playing black jack haha. steve and linds announced they are back together (OMG YAY) and we stayed the night! which followed the next day sleeping in, breakfast made by the couple lol. once me and leon got home the next day we PASSED OUT! lol for like three days now haha! christmas was amazing as usual!
the cold and snow has shown up! i can’t say i LOVE it but i can’t imagine it any other way ♥ haha so we went from the dogs sleeping at the bottom of the bed and fans blowing at night to the fur babies cuddling with us non-stop and me and leon keeping cozy under blankets and walking around the house in our slippers. lol. i love when season’s change. neither of us thankfully have gotten sick really. i was having a hard time earing out of my ears for almost two months (was getting worried) but it was the weather change and they are getting back to normal. also on the health front. i just recently hit a new “milestone” of sorts, my newest longest amount of days ive gone seizure free in yearssssssss is 46 days! very pleased! yay for CBD oils!
onward with holiday happenings! the tree is up, decorated and the shopping has begun! hahah leon and i have gone out and did out christmas shopping here and there for everyone and each other – so we know what we are getting for eachother this year. very anti climactic =/ i dont think we will be doing it again. yeah leon got a tablet (what he wanted) and i got to pick out some things i would have gotten if i shopped on my own … but thats not christmas. it was so not good feeling wrapping my own present for the first time this year. so i say nooooo to this idea in the future again. HOWEVER christmas will be perfect as usual because it is with my love. christmas plans are as follows: christmas eve in the evening we go over to leons aunts house, do dinner & gifts, stay out past midnight having fun! christmas morning we wake (sleep in on xmas for first time in our 6 years together lol) up & do gifts/breakfast then later go over to my aunts house for dinner & gifts etc. then late in the evening we go over to steve’s for the 2nd annual poker game. thennnnn maybe a day or two later (date unknown) we will go out to dinner with the cardillos. for new years eve? POSSIBLY caseville which im really hoping for but who knows… what are you all doing for christmas? what about new years eve? any big plans or traditions?
sidesalad: i am going to Florida for my brothers wedding for sure now. i went out and bought shoes and a dress already i just need to get it altered a bit and send it out with my dads suit to the hotel (not traveling with it)!! so much fun! the more me and dad/anthony/or saba talk about it the more and more excited i get. i look on the resort site and they have so many attractions, auto museums that my dad would love, animal rehabilitation centers with nature trails and my dad would love that haha, oh and a cruise at sunset to watch the dolphins for $40 an adult! i mean oh my lanta!!!! sign me up!
I’m 30! my birthday was tuesday and a normal day it was :) i had so much birthdayness all month a normal birthday was PERFECT! i relaxed all day and then had catechism with my little kiddo’s ♥ once i came home leon had a birthday card and made me dinner xoxox
this past weekend has been a lot of fun!!! it was another #TYSARTIME weekend! my uncle jay got some time off from work and was about to fly up to michigan from florida to visit! we always try to make the most of it as we can when he comes in because we love and miss him so much! on friday the whole family got together and went to this hidden gem auto museum that is not open the time! Stahl’s is a collection filled with cars, signs, music machines, memorbilia, etc! the family broke apart and enjoyed the place a lot. leon really enjoyed it as it reminded him a lot of his late grandpa with all the old antique cars! me and leon plan on bringing our dads back in june for fathers day! :) after the auto museum we all went to lunch together & then met up againnnn on sunday for christmas cooking making! ironically it ended up being december 4th which is national cooking making day! haha so we celebrated by making tons and tons and tons of cookies! we made (my favorite of course) tripple batch of peanut butter kiss cookies, sugar cookies (some frosted), white chocolate macedemia nut, chocolate chip w/almonds & coconut, chocolate chip, lemon squares, cherry nut squares, & powdered date nut balls!!!!!! i have them ALL in my freezer. typing it all out it’s a lot lmao. and shockingly on wednesday i am going back over to my grandma’s house with my mom to make 2 more desserts and another batch of kiss cookies to use up the rest of the chocolate kisses my grandma has unwrapped hahahaha! so we have been getting into the spirit of christmas for sure!! as you all prepare for the joy of Christmas, what traditions does your family have? Is it attending a special Christmas liturgy each year? Is it enjoying a delicious stolen or coffee cake baked from your grandmother’s recipe?
future fun !!!! wedding at the end of january next month in Naples Florida! i am beyond excited and beyond getting anxious and scared lol. i have not flown since i went to italy in 7th grade before 9/11.. so that’s kinda eh. my seizure’s have been good and under control, i haven’t had any major seizures for 36 days today! yay! but i dont know where i will be then, idk. just need to stay calm. ahhhhh. calllmmm. BUT OMG YAY FLORIDA! ♥ i am SO SO SO excited! all i need to do is buy a dress or two! so i need to head over to bibbidy bobbidy boo boutiqe asap! haha
& now sad news: my computer has been giving me problems again :( remember when i spilled the koolaid all over it? obviously it was an answered prayer that it turned back on and all my files/apps are workable etc yay but it just isn’t the same. so i had to save all my files and do a reboot – i am still missing a lot of my old favorites rawr!
100% my brain right now <3 AS HAPPY AS HAPPY CAN BE!!!
happy happy! feeling amazing, happy, and FILLED with gratitude! ♥ today i am 31 DAYS SEIZURE FREE!!!!!! #CBDforEpilepsy #epilepsywarrior #seizurefree #epilepsyawareness #epilepsyawarenessmonth this has been the most special November! I of course always love my birthday month, but such a blessing to be seizure free during my favorite time of year! i am of course hoping this good health pours over from November to December/Christmas! I am so grateful to be this clear minded and healthy right now, but i want more! the desire to be seizure free for a year or two is SO GREAT! (prayer: dear Lord, please lay your hands upon me and hold me in your arms as epilepsy is in my life. thank you lord for watching over me today and everyday! please comfort those who also fight this battle along side me as each year at least 200,000 people are diagnosed! epilepsy is big, but you are bigger! amen!)
Happy belated Thanksgiving! leon and i had a good time over my aunts watching the game, spending time with family etc. i was even able to help my aunt out getting dinner ready ♥ after we went to his grandma’s to see his side so it was a nice day! normally each year after family time on thanksgiving, late into the night we have all our friends over for a poker game! this year would have been year 5 but leon planned on working TRIPPLE TIME on black friday! so we didn’t get a game going. steve says a poker game is going to happen at his house this christmas, so we shall see! yesturday leon worked the tripple time and i went to my cousin kaitlyns 7th birthday. she had the party at a gymnastics place which was super cool because we all got to play with the kids! i took tonssss of pictures haha she is ADORABLE! i even really personalized her birthday card this year with pictures haha.
after kaitlyns party my mom and me headed out to lunch then she had planned for us to go to Painting With A Twist! we went to the class and when i walked in i was soooo surprised to find out all the ladies in my family were there to paint with me and make memories for my birthday! it was so much fun! and i was SO surprised when i walked in my eyes got a little teary lol. after painting we all went over to my aunt and uncles house for pizza, cake, presents, and an AWESOME game of spoons! i left litterallty feeling just as special as kaitlyn did earlier that day! ♥#29daysofCassie♥ today i am home cooking and stuff for leon and the guys who are watching football (big michgan vs ohio game today!) … and in it all i am STILL feeling fantastic with no seizures!!!!
Aunt Cindy’s surprise 60th was a ton of fun! we all surprised her by showing up the a restaurant out in saint clair shores, enjoyed an awesome dinner together, and had her open up gifts! i was even able to get everyone together for a big group picture! (not often or easy lol)
tomorrow thanksgiving! i can’t believe time is flying that fast! always say that but it feels just like that, fleeting! but since its thanksgiving week i dont have catechism as the kids are on break! instead me and grandma hung out this week prepping pies, side dishes etc for thanksgiving and getting her house cleaned up so she could have company over! tomorrow’s plans are to celebrate turkey day at my aunt and uncles house then stop at his grandma’s after for desert! black friday i am going to my little cousins birthday party then out with my mom for my birthday! :) ahhhhhhhhhhh just feeling fantastic lately, no seizures in 26 days! =O
well election day came & went, and i did not want to NOT vote, so i did :) at the end of the day Donald Trump won, so he is our new President Elect! Many people have been happy and others really upset – many in the world protesting more or rioting .. so lame. although i REALLY think they need to get rid of “electorial votes” or whatever, the world has come so far electronically i dont see it being necessary. oh well i am not in politics, and i put in my two cents. i guess either way people will be upset no matter what. since election day me and grandma got real crafty making a christmas like chandelier! it was quite the project we were not expecting to be so hard haha. we even accidentally burned ourselves with the glue etc, but most important we had fun! we are a great team! we also got a lot of yard work done together at her place too! other than that there has been so much football on tv lmao, so leon does that a lot and i’ve been keeping up with painting and crochet as well! my white baby blanket is coming along quite nicely! but tomorrow night.. casino night! this is going to be a blast!
It’s November and November is Epilepsy Awareness Month!!! I of course am online doing my part to spread awareness etc all month long :) I put a purple ribbon in my tree outside my house, and of course i painted my pumpkin last month for halloween purple as well. (picture in last post). and so far i havent had a seizure since Oct. 28th! this month is also the presidential election! my choice of vote for a 3rd party has changed – but i think it will come down to the last few moments when i will really decide, and i really think a lot of people are voting that way this year unfortunately because our candidates are not thee best of choices to have .. but it is what we have. this month is ALSO my birthday month! whoa nelly i am going to be thirty years old this year on the 29th! i am excited but ive been unhappy about it a few times as well. lol so as i say each year because i anticipate the day all month long i celebrate #29daysofCassie lmao! which has officially started now lol. we even have planned a casino trip in my honor coming up on the 17th with the friends & we are all staying at the hotel! should be fun! so this month is exciting in many ways! so far ive celebrated all saints day and all souls day with my class as we attended mass together :) today i enjoyed the day painting a lot as gifts for people (painting page to be added in December) while leon watched football, then tomorrow, i am going out to SOS for a new ID! hoping it comes in the mail before the casino trip!!!!