Category Archives: Health

seizures, being sick, not feeling good

Birth DAYS!

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recently we went back to the gymnasics place that we celebrated last November Kaitlyn’s 7th birthday to now celebrate Jacob’s 3rd Birthday!! :) everyone had a really great time again with a spiderman theme! i love this place as everything is really organized etc. i am so0o0o going to bring my future kiddo’s here for fun and parties! this party for jacob me and leon brought abby! she had a blast! and is still talking about it! lol next month is my sister stephanie’s birthday :)

IMG_20170408_001714_980we had ANOTHER special birthday this month! DOZER BOY! lol doggie boxer birthday! our cutie patootie turned 5 years old this year! we cannot believe how fast and big he has grown over time! he is still our big puppy boy and oh he acts like a puppy still haha. for his dad we took him for a car ride and to the pet store. we love our fur babies so much! (more about them here)

 

EPILEPSY WARRIORNESS: i had a crazyyy seizure in my sleep that left me so0o sore and tired IMG_20170227_125916_354and for some reason i thought it was a “good idea” to go to frenkenmuth with my mom and grandma. i slept the whole way there and the whole way back. wasnt able to enjoy convos or the food. it was horrible! i hateeee epilepsy struggle days like this!! but i was a warrior and made it through! so that alone, even though my muscles hurt and my brain is still foggy, the day is gone & the seizure is done. I MADE IT! WARRIOR!!

Finally Able

IMG_20170228_193628_485this week i had catechism scheduled as planned and was FINALLY able to see my kiddo’s for the first time since before christmas!!! reason being ;; there was no classes for christmas break .. once new years was over there was like TWO SNOW DAYS and a family day before i left for florida so i didnt get to see my students then either. THEN i went to florida and took off a tuesday to be with leon after which brings me to this week in FEBRUARY where i finally was able to see them! it was a lot of fun. we colored and enjoyed talking about our holidays etc etc while also trying my best to catch up on everything we lost! yikes! other than that loveliness i had 2 small seizures in the morning and luckily leon was canvased out of work that day to take care of me! i of course am feeling much better and rested all week. this weekend me and leon are also going to keep it calm. as of right now we have no valentines day plans for next week, like it matters we totally love the crap out of each other! do you all have any special vday plans for this up coming tuesday?

PS: happy 3rd birthday to my 2nd cousin jacob!!

Naples Florida

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IMG_0519FLORIDA WAS AMAZING! we started off with anxiety lol and my dad had me use a wheelchair in the detroit airport haha, he is a goof and loves me so much and worries about me. but the flight was fine, i didnt have any seizure episodes on the flightIMG_0590 there or back or any episodes while i was on the vacation at all! i was even able to have a glass of wine or two while i was out :) it was splendid. i didddddddd get drunky cassie on accident but shhh cause im confident i kept it under wraps lmao. okay so basically we went from airport to resort in naples and didnt leave the resort once until it was time to leave lmao. we had an awesome room, and in my favorite color right off the beach. we enjoyed the pool & beach and tanning together and loved going out to breakfast each morning with a lot of 20170126_094037good laughs & eating my new FAVORITE: eggs benedict. the weather in naples florida was beautiful and warm while the air smelled wonderful. the sand was clean and packable – i really liked the feeling of it lol. i loved looking for shells, me and my IMG_20170126_103813dad picked out a couple together for me to take home and i even found a SAND DOLLAR! unforunately it didnt make it back safely in the trip back home and broke, sad but it had the “5 doves” inside. the only souviener my dad let me take home was my memories and pictures lmao. frugal guy but i wouldnt have it any other way! the trip was amazing! bon fires on the beach, walks on the ocean, sunsets, pizza partys in the hotel rooms, drinks in the hot tub, wine served to you on the beach ♥ a VERY PRICEY heaven lol.

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Tomorrow’s Destination

oh my lordy have i been busy busy and have been getting ready for my trip to florida tomorrow morning, which i am so0o0o pumped for! leon had Monday, Martin Luthar King day off and was able to come home tuesday, which was awesome to spend extra time with him before my trip xoxo.  because of the trip stress i did have a small seizure on tuesday aIMG_20170121_153950_603t some point but i have been trying to stay positive and after i was feeling better this past week we have been going to the gym again (yay) and i have been counting my calories which i have been liking. we also went back and renewed my medical marijuana card because of the laws etc and its not given at a regular pharmacy in this day n age yet. saturday i got my nails and wax done, making me feel all sassy for the trip and monday we got some last stop shopping done for things i would need for the trip! $55.00 on crap pretty much lol. then tonight i had family night at catechism and leon helped me pack :) i leave tomorrow for the airport in the morning with leon and my dad ♥ wish me luck with NO SEIZURES on the airplane andddd on the trip! Anxiety is high but prayers!

PS: Happy Birthday to my baby boy Efferson Emanuel!!!

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Broken

hello hello to drama =/ of course this blog is public so i dont like IMG_20170105_135818_870to air dirty laundry (lame for the readers i know but… it just isnt even good enough for a private post, promise the good ones will have those! lol) howeverrrr there was some tears dropped and words spoke with a relative. both parties needing to talk it out more so we shall see. i will say my grandma has been a wonderful and helpful support in keeping me calm and understanding about everything. best frand she is  ♥ ♥ ♥

epilepsy: blahhhhh i was home alone and i guess i was emotional and had an episode that made IMG_20170106_144433_597me fall, possibly grabbing the cat tree down with me which in turn hit our living room window and broke it! yikes! sidesalad: it is okay as we are getting new doors & windows this year anywhichway — BUT back to the story, i fell and i guess everyone couldnt get a hold of me, the dogs were going crazy, and leons dad came over to check on me and found me on the ground with the cat tree on me with glass everywhere! scary but i guess after some time of coming back to alertness i was okay. sore, but okay. :) #epilepsywarrior!

as for random happenings TRUMP IS PRESIDENT lol. Happy Birthday tooooo my Step Dad Dennis! love you! andddd we did game night with linds and steve at our house, MONOPOLY! hahah which has been fun hanging out with the two of them again yes yes! and we also did some #tysartime over michelle and jeffs for some furtah christmas! our last gift openings! (well for the kiddos lol) other than that we have been trying to start a new year normal. leon work mon-thurs. counseling mon, catechism tues, & grandmas on wed’s :) so far so good except catechism was canceled this week to a snow day! other than that i have taken another its a new year facebook leave lol for a week or two im sure .. we shall see. until then i usually go nuts on instagram and recently i am a snapchat fan! whoa nelly!

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Anti Climactic Gifting

the cold and snow has shown up! i can’t say i LOVE it but i can’t imagine it any other way ♥ haha so we went from the dogs sleeping at the bottom of the bed and fans blowing at night to the fur babies cuddling with us non-stop and me and leon keeping cozy under blankets and walking around the house in our slippers. lol. i love when season’s change. neither of us thankfully have gotten sick really. i was having a hard time earing out of my ears for almost two months (was getting worried) but it was the weather change and they are getting back to normal. also on the health front. i just recently hit a new “milestone” of sorts, my newest longest amount of days ive gone seizure free in yearssssssss is 46 days! very pleased! yay for CBD oils!

img_20161211_162701onward with holiday happenings! the tree is up, decorated and the shopping has begun! hahah leon and i have gone out and did out christmas shopping here and there for everyone and each other – so we know what we are getting for eachother this year. very anti climactic =/ i dont think we will be doing it again. yeah leon got a tablet (what he wanted) and i got to pick out some things i would have gotten if i shopped on my own … but thats not christmas. it was so not good feeling wrapping my own present for the first time this year. so i say nooooo to this idea in the future again. HOWEVER christmas will be perfect as usual because it is with my love. christmas plans are as follows: christmas eve in the evening we go over to leons aunts house, do dinner & gifts, stay out past midnight having fun! christmas morning we wake (sleep in on xmas for first time in our 6 years together lol) up & do gifts/breakfast then later go over to my aunts house for dinner & gifts etc. then late in the evening we go over to steve’s for the 2nd annual poker game. thennnnn maybe a day or two later (date unknown) we will go out to dinner with the cardillos. for new years eve? POSSIBLY caseville which im really hoping for but who knows… what are you all doing for christmas? what about new years eve? any big plans or traditions?

img_20161220_200404sidesalad: i am going to Florida for my brothers wedding for sure now. i went out and bought shoes and a dress already i just need to get it altered a bit and send it out with my dads suit to the hotel (not traveling with it)!! so much fun! the more me and dad/anthony/or saba talk about it the more and more excited i get. i look on the resort site and they have so many attractions, auto museums that my dad would love, animal rehabilitation centers with nature trails and my dad would love that haha, oh and a cruise at sunset to watch the dolphins for $40 an adult! i mean oh my lanta!!!! sign me up!

Cookie Craziness

15181436_10154739413019591_1301330745291909673_nI’m 30! my birthday was tuesday and a normal day it was :) i had so much birthdayness all month a normal birthday was PERFECT! i relaxed all day and then had catechism with my little kiddo’s ♥ once i came home leon had a birthday card and made me dinner xoxox

this past weekend has been a lot of fun!!! it was another #TYSARTIME weekend! my uncle jay got some time off from work and was about to fly up to michigan from florida to visit! we always try to make the most of it as we can when he comes in because we love and miss him so much!  on friday the whole family got together and went to this hidden gem auto museum that is not open the time! Stahl’s is a collection filled with cars, signs, music machines, memorbilia, etc! the family broke apart and enjoyed the place a lot. leon really enjoyed it as it reminded him a lot of his late grandpa with all the old antique cars! me and leon plan on bringing our dads back in june for fathers day! :) after the auto museum we all went to lunch together & 15349703_10154765499974591_7414931324248572510_nthen met up againnnn on sunday for christmas cooking making! ironically it ended up being december 4th which is national cooking making day! haha so we celebrated by making tons and tons and tons of cookies! we made (my favorite of course) tripple batch of peanut butter kiss cookies, sugar cookies (some frosted), white chocolate macedemia nut, chocolate chip w/almonds & coconut,  chocolate chip, lemon squares, cherry nut squares, & powdered date nut balls!!!!!! i have them ALL in my freezer. typing it all out it’s a lot lmao. and shockingly on wednesday i am going back over to my grandma’s house with my mom to make 2 more desserts and another batch of kiss cookies to use up the rest of the chocolate kisses my grandma has unwrapped hahahaha! so we have been getting into the spirit of christmas for sure!! as you all prepare for the joy of Christmas, what traditions does your family have? Is it attending a special Christmas liturgy each year? Is it enjoying a delicious stolen or coffee cake baked from your grandmother’s recipe?

future fun !!!! wedding at the end of january next month in Naples Florida! i am beyond excited and beyond getting anxious and scared lol. i have not flown since i went to italy in 7th grade before 9/11.. so that’s kinda eh. my seizure’s have been good and under control, i haven’t had any major seizures for 36 days today! yay! but i dont know where i will be then, idk. just need to stay calm. ahhhhh. calllmmm. BUT OMG YAY FLORIDA! ♥ i am SO SO SO excited! all i need to do is buy a dress or two!  so i need to head over to bibbidy bobbidy boo boutiqe asap! haha

& now sad news: my computer has been giving me problems again :( remember when i spilled the koolaid all over it? obviously it was an answered prayer that it turned back on and all my files/apps are workable etc yay but it just isn’t the same. so i had to save all my files and do a reboot – i am still missing a lot of my old favorites rawr!

 

Thirty One Days

this is 100% my brain right now <3

100% my brain right now <3 AS HAPPY AS HAPPY CAN BE!!!

happy happy! feeling amazing, happy, and FILLED with gratitude! ♥ today i am 31 DAYS SEIZURE FREE!!!!!! #CBDforEpilepsy #epilepsywarrior #seizurefree #epilepsyawareness #epilepsyawarenessmonth this has been the most special November! I of course always love my birthday month, but such a blessing to be seizure free during my favorite time of year! i am of course hoping this good health pours over from November to December/Christmas! I am so grateful to be this clear minded and healthy right now, but i want more! the desire to be seizure free for a year or two is SO GREAT!  (prayer: dear Lord, please lay your hands upon me and hold me in your arms as epilepsy is in my life. thank you lord for watching over me today and everyday! please comfort those who also fight this battle along side me as each year at least 200,000 people are diagnosed! epilepsy is big, but you are bigger! amen!) 

Surprise 30th!

Happy belated Thanksgiving! leon and i had a good time over my aunts img_20161126_013121watching the game, spending time with family etc. i was even able to help my aunt out getting dinner ready ♥ after we went to his grandma’s to see his side so it was a nice day! normally each year after family time on thanksgiving, late into the night we have all our friends over for a poker game! this year would have been year 5 but leon planned on working TRIPPLE TIME on black friday! so we didn’t get a game going. img_20161123_221742steve says a poker game is going to happen at his house this christmas, so we shall see! yesturday leon worked the tripple time and i went to my cousin kaitlyns 7th birthday. she had the party at a gymnastics place which was super cool because we all got to play with the kids! i took tonssss of pictures haha she is ADORABLE! i even really personalized her birthday card this year with pictures haha.

after kaitlyns party my mom and me headed out to lunch then she had planned for us to go to Painting With A Twist! we went to the class and when i walked in i was soooo surprised to find out all the ladies in my family were there to paint with img_20161126_121945me and make memories for my birthday! it was so much fun!  and i was SO surprised when i walked in my eyes got a little teary lol. after painting we all went over to my aunt and uncles house for pizza, cake, presents, and an AWESOME game of spoons! i left litterallty feeling just as special as kaitlyn did earlier that day! ♥#29daysofCassie♥ today i am home cooking and stuff for leon and the guys who are watching football (big michgan vs ohio game today!) … and in it all i am STILL feeling fantastic with no seizures!!!!

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Pie Time

Aunt Cindy’s surprise 60th was a ton of fun! we all surprised her by showing up the a restaurant out in saint clair shores, enjoyed an awesome dinner together, and had her open up gifts! i was even able to get everyone together for a big group picture! (not often or easy lol)

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tomorrow thanksgiving! i can’t believe time is flying that fast! always say that but it feels just like that, fleeting! but since its thanksgiving week i dont have catechism as the kids are on break! instead me and grandma hung out this week prepping pies, side dishes etc for thanksgiving and getting her house cleaned up so she could have company over! tomorrow’s plans are to celebrate turkey day at my aunt and uncles house then stop at his grandma’s after for desert! black friday i am going to my little cousins birthday party then out with my mom for my birthday! :) ahhhhhhhhhhh just feeling fantastic lately, no seizures in 26 days! =O

Seizure Days

img_20161018_221317hmm where to start? well sunday me and my gma went to church, breakfast, checked out the new flag they put up in the New Baltimore Park, and then we headed out shopping for a little while having fun together :) love days like that with her! the week went as normal consisting of my weekly monday counceling sessions and my weekly tuesday night catechism etc but then WOW! without saying much there has been some drama/stress close by in my life which resulted in a lot of seizures! tuesday night seizure, wednesday seizures, thursday seizures, and a small seizure yesturday, friday! it was quite the hurdle of feeling like CRAP and sleeping etc.  since i wasn’t doing so well i rested the whole week as much as i could, i think the only time i left the house was to go with leon yesturday to the doctors haha. today i haven’t had any seizure activity and the michigan game is on. so im about to sleep more as he watches it haha. and im pretty sure MORE football tomorrow i think but we might go over to derak and heathers, idk yet, depends on how i am feeling. then Monday is HALLOWEEEEEEEN! 

Lines

donkeyelephant-cartoon-finalUSA! this year is an election year and the debates between trump and hillary have been going on… now I am not one to post, blog, or comment on anything political & I try to stay out of this on social media and I keep my feelings to myself; however I cant stay completely quiet any longer. We have one candidate running on a slogan “make america great again” and another saying that we are already “good” then we have the media slinging everything they can to fire us up and keep us on their agenda. Then we are joining in slamming each candidate on social media constantly and making arguments about what this one did is so bad/illegal while ignoring what bad/illegal things the other has done. What we are doing as Americans is we are dividing the lines even deeper so we have no hope of being “good” or “great again”. We chose these two individuals as our running mates by either voting for them in the primaries or not voting at all. So my advice is stop letting the media and the mud slinging impact your decision start finding a way to make a difference in your daily life and the life’s of those around you. America was built on the shoulders of leaders not followers, get out there and lead and stop following this crap like mindless cattle. If we all just do that then America will not only be good it will be great. Neither candidate nor Media Outlet has an agenda to unite us as Americans, everything about this race has done nothing but divide us more as a country. I have decided that i am going to use my vote next month not for either  candidate but for a third party nomination vote. I dont want to one day look back and be asked by my children who i voted for and tell them i did not vote as well as be a part of this “mess”.

Oimg_20160426_000153ther than political bullshit I am doing MUCH BETTER! my last post was so sad, but i think thats what blogging is for, to help me get things out, look back, review, move forward and live life in #gratitude ♥ so happy to have cassiedotcom.com :) lol of course. with each passing year i am growing. and i feel it, i know it. in 2012 i wanted to give up and entered myself into a phyciatric (sp?) hospital, and since then i have only been climbing the stairs of greatness. i am super proud of myself. sometimes you feel like you are the only one having a hard time, but we all are. we are constant works in progress, preparing ourselves for eternity in the kingdom of God! Amen! I had counseling last night and she was so reassuring of my wednesday cry fest, how all the feelings i was having i turned each of them around into i feel icky about this, so im going to fix it this way! yay for therapy! lol. so health wise i am back to me and working on my fabulousness with THREE DAYS SEIZURE free under my belt! because EVERY victory matters!

Time In Nature

HELLO EMOTIONAL CASSIE~! i haven’t been depressed or had a crying over nothing day in sooooooo long so it really caught me off guard this past week. since my friend passing away from SUDEP and her sister deleting her fb page (which im not a fan of) then me having a major seizure and being in the hospital … i have been really up and down i suppose. most days i like to consider myself to be positive as i am living my life in gratitude but feeling down has really crept up on me. of course having the coping tools from couceling has been extremely helpful! okay lets re-cap what happened. i haven’t been to counceling for two weeks (going tomorrow and cannot wait to unload) and have been sleeping A LOT so i feel like ive been falling back into my bad pattern which is NOT helpful for the brain. 20161005_123551on tuesday was my second day of catechism, which i enjoyed my 1.5hr with my student and had a lot of fun, smiles the whole time. but on wednesday i woke up just on the WRONG SIDE of the bed or something immediatly sad and crying all by myself. talked to grandma, my dad, tried to spend some time out in nature to make myself feel better but i would cry over the silliest things (now that i think about it all) and was feeling bad about everything and nothing all at the same time. THEN the church called me and needed me to sub for their first grade class. i felt obligated and said yes when really the way i was feeling i should have said no. that night i took on 15 first graders and OH MY LANTA was it something i was no mentally ready for. i left there wanting to cry more lol. but i made it. once i was home leon made everything better, of course because he is my ROCK. thursday we went to the gym but didnt go again since because i had another seizure  saturday morning :( and then slept most of today away. hopefully this week will be A LOT BETTER!!!!

Another ER Visit

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EPILEPSY WARRIOR

WHOA have things been crazy this past week! last tuesday i had catechism class (as i posted about) and the day went by fine and i came home and leon bought pizza then we hung out for a bit and went to bed. i suppose some time in the middle of the night i got up sleep walking or something and had a seizure, falling and hitting my head on our entertainment center! THANKFULLY leon woke up and heard the noise and came to care for me. i guess it took him a while to get me to the hospital but eventually he got me there around 4am  and they checked me over for my skull and head injuries etc because i hit my head. they had me stay at the hospital, and even though leon took work off for wednesday img_20160929_150216because of all of it, he had not gotten any sleep all night so he called my mom and grandma and went home for some sleep. i woke up the next day with them by my side and a text from leon that made me very emotional because of how much he goes through. he is my rock! after some time i was feeling better and they let me go home later wednesday night. even though they let me go home i was still kinda loopy and groggy for a few days and needed lots of sleep so thats what i did. thursday leon had to work so i went over my grandma’s and slept there and she made dinner for me and leon because she is a sweetheart <3 she is my best friend i love her so much!!!

Everything else has been so hazy and i dont remember some days. img_20161011_000341i know we went out to breakfast one day with leons dad, and grocery shopping one day lol but mostly ive been sleeping a lot. i doooooo remember yesturday (saturday) as we stayed home again for some football but leon had the guys over and i had my second pearl party online! i ended up getting my goal for my free setting. SO i ended up opening a SECOND oyster! the first oyster i opened was a dark and the second was a pretty pink ♥ both 7.5 in size. i am having the dark in a bracelet and the pink in a ring :) yay lol so we shall see when they come.

Don’t Connect

i have a lot of different things that don’t connect together to blog 14316785_10154507314219591_6045847016090918916_nabout so i will be hopping all around in this entry, lol sorry…   Today my late Grandpa would have been 89 years old! Happy Birthday Grandpa Tysar!!! We are all always thinking of you & missing you at each family event! rest in paradise until we meet again in the kingdom of God xoxo ♥ My grandfather has been gone now since 2001 but his memory is still so fresh, and that’s what i love, all good amazing memories! i love you for all eternity Grandpa, we all do!

14356068_10210170000463342_1943220195_nthis week has been National Suicide Prevention Week, which is the Monday through Sunday surrounding World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10th. each year (for the past 7 years) i have been participating in TWLOHA — which is To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

Recently online I have been getting into watching these live pearl parties on facebook by Vantel Pearls .. it is so addicting lol. let me explain: At a Pearl Party, they bring the oysters to us! In their amazing jewelry catalog you choose a setting you would like your pearl to be in .. but what will your pearl be?? Will your pearl be a classic white, peach, black, or other exotic colors?!?!? At the party the co-host will be opening an oyster of your choice via live facebook video pearls_fullfeed! Each oyster contains a beautiful, genuine Pearl (cultured)! When your oyster is opened and the Pearl is discovered, excitement sweeps through the Party as we all find out the color, size, or… TWINS!?! its like gambling for pearls hahah!!!! ♥ After your amazing pearl is opened it can then be mounted into a ring, necklace or any one of their many beautiful jewelry designs! You can check out their catalog here! i have been getting so into that i am actually hosting a party next weekend saturday! lol so go to my event and check it out!!

sunday leon and i went out to heather and deraks for some football watchingg since the tysar picnic got canceled due to the weather. of course during that time me and heather talked the whole time and i got her into my pearl obsession lmao. but onto the regular health update…. i made it an amazingggggg  42 days with no grandmal’s and feel 100% blessed and grateful! now onto doing it again! :) with that said i of course had an episode.. on monday i had counceling and i was feeling a bit down maybe? idk but that night i had a grandmal seizure in my sleep. leon said it wasn’t too long but only one. moving forward with a positive mind!

Labor Celebrations

this past weekend was labor day weekend! cannot believe the end of summer is pretty much almost here!!! it is still really hot & the michigan weather is lovely but the ‘oh my time is flying by’ feeling is coming again as another season just flew past! it was a short summer! but lots to look forward to always so not sad lol, this fall i get to start catechism again at the end of this month! yay! so i will not be sleeping this september (lmao wake me up when september ends duh).img_20160904_205106

anyyyyyyyways for labor day celebrations on Sunday the Tysar family all went out to Harsen’s island again and spent time together :) it was of course lots of good food and good laughs! leon was able to come and didn’t have work or anything and it was his first time seeing my aunt and uncles house on the island so that was fun. right when we got there i had a dumb cassie moment and fell down the stairs of the front porch and got a nasty bruise/mark on my ankle. oh man. cassie cassie cassie. haha. img_20160904_204834later in the afternoon some of usimg_20160904_204730 went out on my uncles boat for two hours around the island which was a lottttt of fun! once we got back we played lots of cards and headed home. on monday, labor day, me and leon headed to the New Baltimore park just the two of us for a little date. we packed up a picnic lunch and everything we needed, and went to the beach ♥ we did very little swimming haha but we ate and cuddled and napped in the sun. as time went by his cousin stopped by, we ended up seeing three of our high school classmates, and then an ice cream parlor later we ended the day :)

as for my silly little health updates, my late blog was about my fabulous celebration of being one moth seizure free, and im still NO GRAND MAL SEIZURES but yesturday i spent the day with my grandma, was kinda sleepy for the day, went to sleep and in the evening i ended up (so leon said) waking up sleeping walking and waking up stareing off so having an absence seizure or two. hoping i still go longer and the CBDoils keep me on the right track but at the same i know its not magic. #epilepsywarrior #gratitude

31 Days!

ONE MONTH SEIZURE FREE

i 4e0a38e8a8cdc82373fd4065152dc2a2of course needed to stop and take a moment to blog and celebrate with the world that i am one month seizure free! thirty one amazing days with no major grandmal seizures! i am so blessed as this hasn’t happened in so long! today me and leon are celebrating with a little bit of cheesecake and strawberries together and i will be continueing with no more seizures! :) i am a warrior and i choose not to suffer epilepsy, i battle epilepsy! ♥ please go to my epilepsy page!

random sidesalad: today is my dads birthday! happy birthday to my fabulous dad!

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Grateful

20160414_150031update on Ella, the dog we have been fostering since January.. Cj, leons cousin and ella’s owner, came and picked her up. the dogs got into one last fight sunday and i another monday while waiting for him to pick her up to the next temporary owner. she left and then we went into even more full throttle looking for a forever owner over the week – thankfully i got into contact with an old friend i had back 11 years ago in High School! her and her family were very happy and excited to get her to their home. Cj then took her from the temporary home to her forever home officially on Friday!! i am deeply happy about this but as i have spent so much time with her here in our home, and cj raised her from a puppy for 4 years.. we are so sad to see her not in the family anymore and with another. its a bittersweet goodbye. we are all elated though she went to a good home of someone i know and we can get updates of :) #grateful

over this week leon’s second softball game got canceled due to rain & i did more painting! yesturday i went over my moms in the evening to help my mom make chocolate covered pretzels and surprizingly today me and leon went up to saint mary’s family festival, which i was hoping to make an appearance! we walked around new baltimore again seeing all the cool vendors out for the summer and catching our poke’mon haha.

also today leon and i were talking about my health etc and realized i haven’t had a seizure in awhile so we counted the days out and when i started the 5,000mg oil etc &…. It has been 20 days since I switched to my highest dose of Charlottes Web CBD oil & i am as of today TWENTY FOUR DAYS SEIZURE FREE!!!! This is the longest I have gone without a seizure in YEARS! if anyone needs some type of proof that medical marijuana products work or are more than recreational, I am it!!!! #grateful

in bad/good news .. i was home earlier this week with my HP laptop open on the coffee table and a full glass of kooliad. (you can see where this is going). i went to let the dogs outside, and they were very excited one bumped into the table and the the whole glass spilled alllllllll over the keyboard! i immediatly poured it off, panicked, grabbed a towel, and just started crying. leon walked in and didnt know what was going on. there was a huge FROWN FACE blue screen that said restart on the screen and i showed him. he was like OMG CALM DOWN BUT TURN IF OFF. 20160121_102415 i was freaking out over it being ruined that i didn’t even take the battery out. i was for sure it was done and i lost everything. so he immediatly (because leon is the best in the world) helped me and took the computer out the garage and blew it out with the air compressor. we let the computer sit off and dry for three days as we talked about the possibility options of a new computer for christmas and the options of getting my files. as each day passed i would remember more and more things that were saved on my laptop that i had lost. thennnnnnnn finally after the three days it came time to try it out, turn it on and see what happens. i turned it on, screen worked etc but it was slow – but overall i sighed relief and was SO THANKFUL!!!! everything was working, everything was still here. my life, my files, my games, my everythinggggggg. so i ran diagnostics etc. the keys all work. the screen is fine. the speakers work. one thing doesnt, the microphone lol. woopdie fkn doo. lmao. #grateful!

The Best Hosts

This past week I have been real busy with my grandma in preparation of her birthday party! After those seizures last week thankfully I was feeling much better, got the rest I needed, and had plenty of energy to help my leading lady out :-) andddd oy boy did she need help lol…

Heather & Derak's

Heather & Derak’s

Wednesday my gma and i got together as usual and prepped her house with moving things around for her, tidying the outside as she had plans to entertain outside if good weather… so we did just that and set everything up. Friday was her birthday, we spent some time together and did food prep for the party lol… lots of food prep because my gma really knows how to throw… scratch that, host a party! Even though it was in her honor I helped her work hard on getting a good spread out for everyone. Leon later came over that evening and helped putting up a shelf and a picture frame she really wanted. We gave her our little gift then headed over to derak and Heathers! They got their first place together :-) the guys watched football and we gabbed as usual. Thennnn saturday was the big day, the day of the party! My gma had me come over early and we cooked and moved things around even moreeeee for everything lol it was fun. Love her so much! At 5pm people started arriving, I helped the whole time ago she could enjoy some time with her brother! Which was awesome he came. Everyone ate, laughed, played games and even went through old photo albums gma has in her livingroom. The little ones enjoyed the Nintendo which makes me happy because it was part of my childhood too <3 everything went smoooooth. Only thing that went wrong.. I FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES!!!  :-(

Monday I had counceling like I do every week and it was a very lovely appointment :-) she un diagnosed me with major depression and severe anxiety!!!  Yay! My mental game is on point lately and I am doing fanfuckingtastick lol. We even moved my 20160816_135812appointments from every week to every other week! Progress! And then today Leon is out at work then a drake concert! I am not going because 300 for floor is too much $ considering I know like 4 of his songs haha. So I have the house to myself tonight! Hopefully I don’t get bored without my mister lol. Today is also leons parents 30yr wedding anniversary! They invited me, amy, and abby to go out to the movies with them this afternoon to celebrate. We of course saw a kid movie because abby was with us, we saw the real life of pets. Its was very funny I loved it. Jean and leon didn’t sit together but it was still cute they “did something” for their anniversary. You know? I pray to have a marriage where we stick together no matter what too. Anyways so here I am at home  blogging and hopefully enjoying this evening without Leon haha.

Throw Water?!

last wednesday i woke up and started the day normal further along i was on the phone with leon and switching the dogs outside to go to the bathroom, i let the dogs outside and made sure his dogs were not outside and he didnt see mine outside either … next thing i knew i hear the dogs going wild outside and ran out there to help get the dogs away from the fence and back inside so no one would get hurt. i threw my phone and went and got them, i got them inside and thats when i blacked out. leon was still on the phone waiting for me to get back to him and tell him everything was alright .. but what he heard was me come into the house, fall, and have a seizure. he got off the phone to call his mom who happened to be off on a walk with her daughter and grand daughter, she could feel his frustration when he heard she wasnt closer than he had hoped for so he quickly panicked more seeing who else was home and where everyone was and who could help. she took it personally as though he doesnt feel she should ever leave the house and do what she wants etc. but really he was just worried about my health. they hung up on eachother and he got ahold of his dad who was able to get into our house and keep an eye on me. i guess after some time i had another seizure and he didnt know what to do because i wasnt waking up or something so he asked leon if he should throw water on me! lmao what? oy! i had kinda assumed my family knew how to handle seizures before and after but hearing that was a huge wake up call that i need to get more info out there to my family and extended family. im going to do so this thanksgiving, pass out general info for each family to have :) its important! and no he did not throw water on me as leon said NO! haha but i later on i guess jean came home and leon left because i remember sitting in the living room with jean for a while and talking with her about the neighbor or something? Wish i could remember everything i said! lol cause who knows! from what i hear i can be pretty goofy when im out of it after seizures, so i like to hear the humor in the ugly of it all. ANYWAYS lots of sleep that night and rest.

600x600bb-85Thursday i relaxed more at home and started watching 7th Heaven season 1 episode 1! it is an oldershow from when i was in high school! i use to and still love this show even though its been over now for years! its been awesome re-going into the cute little family of seven who eventually have twins! :) i could go on and on about the show, if you have never seen the show its a good family show with lots and lots of good lessons ♥ later when leon came home we had dinner then went out to play some put put golf together and have some ice cream! it was a cute little date and loved it! and again today we went to sho-guns for another little date because i am fabulous and can talk him into things xoxoxo lol

Ten Year Warrior

this month marks TEN YEARS i have been diagnosed with uncontrollable Epilepsy!

68243be24d78b3868197e8d65c39fc30looking back on this past decade there have been many ups and downs and my disorder has manifested itself in a number of different ways resulting in me loosing independence, my rights to drive machinery, and my ability to maintain any part time job. these hurdles eventually broke me down as a person but over time i learned patience, acceptance, and found my inner strength! for many years i would cry and plead with anyone for an answer as to why me?! why do i have this burden? i would wake up confused from seizures and sob wondering “when will they stop? when will this end?” but as i grieved the old me, i learned about the new me….

over the years i found a part of me that i did not know existed, and with that i am thankful for my disorder. the burden i once carried became a fight i was proud to win each day! my relationship with my higher power became stronger and my inner being began to grow as i learned to adjust month after month, year after year. i am always and still learning more about myself as i am a constant work in progress. i have embraced gratitude and am thankful for the good and do my best to see the good in the bad. my negative mind is now a positive one as i battle each day, each week, each month, and each passing year as an epilepsy warrior.113855-glowing-purple-neon-icon-people-things-people-child2

my greatest achievement however is to have chosen a very strong partner who I will have been happily with for six years this year! he provides me with the will power i need everyday to be the best me i can be. looking back on these years i know I could not have done it alone, and thanks to my boyfriend Leon and God – i didn’t have to! I am lucky! Lucky to be here today, lucky to be an epileptic, lucky to have the support group i do, and lucky to be able to share my story as i embark on the next decade as an Epilepsy Warrior