graduations! tis the month of getting diplomas! lol everyone on fb is graduating – its about that time since highschool ended for some getting their masters and such. my sisters graduation was last thursday. me, my mom, dennis, grandma, and her boyfriend aj went to her ceremony in the morning. we all went to detroit ford feild, watched her walk across the stage and yelled our heads off. we took pictures and videos. we were expecting my dad and donna to show up, but they didnt, it was a big disappointment. he didnt even call and explain so that made me angry =/ i still dont know if he called and appologized. if he hasn’t by now, the longer you wait the harder it is to repair the problem. i need to let go of all that though, i have a hard time when it comes to getting into peoples issues. its like i want to fix everyones problems for them, only i get in the way and sometime create more and even cause distrust in people. rawrrrr on fixing personality traits. anyyyyyywho ~~ after the graduation we all went out to lunch at Andiamo’s, yummy. took more pictures then i had to head home and let the doggies out, as it was a long day. congrats to my sissy!
sunday was mothers day, in the day before amy had work i went over to their house and we all watched the abby video i had made. (here) not leon though, he was at work. later that night we had dinner at our house with his mom and abby – prime rib and corn! yummmm! =P
today is abby’s birthday. unfortunatly the money didnt get budgeted correctly and we have no gift for her :( idk what we are doing for her, i think going over later tonight to sing to her and have cake. also earlier today leon had a funeral to go to, a friend of his died at work. long ass story. dont even want to blog about it…. other than that. rest in peace to him and i feel bad i have nothing for abby.
I have said this before and I’m going to continue saying one of my strongest beliefs and favorite quotes, everything happens for a reason. Good and bad.
I mentioned in past posts about family drama on Leon’s side – of course fighting rips everyone apart and feelings get crushed, but then then things happen, good and bad that bring people together again. Always.
Today Leon’s grandma on his dads side passed away. She has dimensia as well as blindness, diabetes etc. I’ve posted about her before. (Search “Leon grandma” for references on the right) the past few days she’s been refusing to eat. Her health has been declineing since December so weve all known its been coming, so I feel like it makes it a little easier. Everyone is more prepared mentally etc.
As for the funeral plans and extended family, everything is rough. Money use to be set aside but its gone now. Leon’s grandmas kids are fudeing over arangments, grandmas things, and just “you don’t care enough” in general.
Side salad: we were supposed to go to Steve’s in Waterford but didn’t cause I was randomly tired. If we had, we would have missed going to the home to see her before she goes to get cremated. Everything happens for a reason.
Caught in the middle is how I could describe the way I feel right now. I try my best not to air family drama online, but let my feelings out at the same time. Right now next door there is drama (no specifics needed to be said) going on between Leon’s mom&sister towards Leon and vs versa. Everyone is venting and I want nothingggggg to do with it! I hate getting stuck in the middle. Picking sides. Augh, so frustrating! Family isn’t suppose to fight, but when family does it sucks ass! Technically it isn’t too much for me to complain about as everyone else is the one with the issue but still, blah. With all this drama is possible talk of phone plan changes. If I have to not have Verizon, I think then I’ll be complaining because we have bad credit :( sucks being us when it comes to that!
What have I been doing? Being lazy! Augh! Truth. And staying up way too late trying to be quiet so I don’t wake up Leon. He would be mad if he saw I was up messing up my schedule cause it fks with my epilepsy. Another truth, its been fkd up since we went to the casino for Lindsay’s 21st birthday mid February…. =\ ahhh man.
Plans for Easter this year? Me and Leon decided we always drive around and are exhausted on holidays so we wanted to stay hone this year. Originally we invited his family over for dinner but due to the recent drama they are not coming so it will be just Leon and I. I have a feeling it will be both cute and boring. I personally don’t like staying home on holidays but then again, I don’t do the driving =/ so we shall see. Maybe the drama will subside or maybe not. Who knows, either way easter won’t be that special this year.
im on a blogging frenzy lately haha.
danes birthday was fabulous! he enjoyed every second of it! he took his first sip of beer and yelled “woo im drunk like justin bieber!” he had us all smileing with him all night ♥ i posted pictures on fb and put a video up on instagram of him enjoying his day! he loved the slots, and was locked into pushing those buttons! ha, best arcade ever! well ‘vegas in detroit’ as dane called it. we went to greektown casino, second time ive been there. everything feels so old and the ceilings are so low. so claustrophobic. lol the music playing wasnt loud enough to hear the songs overhead. and the worst, they had ONE electronic roulette table! wtf!? displeased! well me, heather, and deraks sister charday were unhappy about the lack of those and electronic black jack tables. me and heather most deffinately missed our comfort zone of MotorCity lol!!
once me and leon came home after it was about 7pm so dinner … we dont have much in the house just because we have been busy helping my dad move one weekend then steve n lindsay the next – so we had a lot of leftovers. what leftovers? pizza! barf! we have been eating crazy amounts of pizza because of the easyness of it from being so busy. aughhh i am SO OVER PIZZA for awhile now! no pizza until after summer. swears. imma say no to that crap’ola for quite a minuet! (i feel like minuet should be spelled minuete. random cassie fyi)
today i woke up to facebook pictures posted of my cousins daughters 2nd bday. hmm. big cake in the pictures, and i wasnt invited? i of course msgd my cousin and she said just her grandparents, aunts n uncles were there. hmm. well i know my grandma wasnt there (babys only greatgrandma) and i kinda feel like there may have been 4 other people invited that are not aunts, uncles etc to the baby. rather my aunts n my cousins. idk. she said she wasnt into having a large party at her house, which i do understand because it can be costly i suppose to host. but not if you make it a potluck? everyone bring a dish to a bday is not unheard of and is tottally acceptable. idk, just seems like favorites sometimes. like i wasnt invited to maddie’s baptism for the same reason, they didnt want to host a lot of people. i wasnt invited to kaitlyns baptism because it would have been to hard to figure out where people stay since they lived in ohio at that time. i mean, i kinda think that part would be up to me. we all had no problem getting a hotel for the night when we came down for her 1st birthday? i kinda feel like an ass for putting all this but its my feelings on it. ive hosted many parties, and two a year for my kids would be nothing. either you do have a party or you dont. no picking the party list. thats just rude. okay rant over.
hahaha that last post made me laugh! i barely remember posting it, but did it through talking into the cell phone. lol very funny. i’m pretty sure i passed out soon after lol. im glad i could give myself a good laugh hahah. ahhh. since that post vday past … and yes leon stuck to the no celebrateing lol. saying we never do. so with the help of timehop i showed him every vday in all 4 years we’ve celebrated w/the gifts and cards and flowers and dates lol. imma not say NOTHING and lets see how valentines 2016 turns out ;) lol cause he was in the “dog house” hahah i was messin with him a lot. we did acctually go out to lunch at shogun and i gave him the shirts i bought us the month before. xoxox love him!
after vday i went to church on ash wednesday and got my ashes with my grandma. it has been a while since i got my ashes because … well no excuse i just havent made going to church a high priority in the past couple years. now that my grandma is in town i am pleased to go with her when and be a companion as she does go alone on some sundays. hopefully after some time i will get back into my habbit of putting church into my weekly life. reading the bible alone is meaningful and really helps you along through life. but being a part of a ministry is :) ♥
— also after valentines day leon & i went out to verizon and i got the new Galaxy Note 4 in white!!! yay! i love it! i have nothing negative to say about it before. i upgraded from the Galaxy S4. however when we were there the phone leon wanted they didnt have in stock so he ordered it online that night.
last thursday leon and i met up with heather and derak for dinner at the casino.
lovelyyyyy. we got yelled at for ‘standing on the furniture’ after lmao idk then GAMBLINGGGGGG! lindsay and steve met up with us and we celebrated for her birthday ♥ we had a good time! lindsay got wastedddd & the pictures are hilarious lol. loved it! we were there until 6am! crazyness. OHHHHH and they have the new Ellen Slots! omg i love her! shes my favorite celebrity of all time! 100% percent. after me and leon picked up breakfast & passed out until what seemed like forever! lol
this week ~ well today acctually i weeded out another negative part of my life. #friendbreakup lol. no big issue but i ended everything, shes not a good friend. she’s so negative. basically the breakup story as follows is: On facebook.
HER: she posted a status saying she watched the new real world and how people should watch because of the drug abuse message.
ME: i commented asking her if she just watched it, saying i watched it last night.
HER: she posted she did just watch it. (side salad: she watches children sometimes as a job in her home)
ME: and i said, are the kids there today? cause that show is crazy but i loved when taylor was born.
– she then deleted my comment. i knew this because other people commented about the show so i was notfied. –
ME: did you delete my comments?
– more comments from her and other people directed not to me –
– then she facebook messaged me to answer me –
HER: Obviously i wouldn’t watch it with little eyes around, stupid thing to post on my status.
ME: Why do u keep deleting it?
HER: Because its a stupid comment my life is kids i dont need you saying stupid shit thats common sense. Then after its deleted you repost smdh you really need to think before sayig dumb stuff
ME: What I say is not stupid or dumb. I’ve asked u to stop saying that before
HER: Obviously i take care of kids all day i know way more then you about children
ME: All u had to say was “lol of course not there in the playroom I’m all alone” or something. Deleting it and saying what I say is stupid and dumb? And that u know more than me?
HER: Or they were napping and all the moms know 11 to 12 is naptime, and i dont need advice on what to and not to watch around children
ME: Was I giving u advice? No. I said it was a crazy show
HER: Yes I do, and for you to think otherwise is ignorant. You are not a mom and do not spend your days with kids therfore yes i do know more. You said hope your not watching, like duhhhh
ME: Ok well just like every conversation you jump down my throat and belittle me. You create arguments were there shouldnt be any and sometimes bring up past drama. You recently got mad and a huge 2 hr long fight over how long u have been seeing kenny. I have no interest to be your friend at this point. I’m glad we tried being friends but no thank you. Best of luck. Oh and thanks for never coming to my epilepsy walk after saying “see u tmrw” with no explanation or apology that was nice
HER: Good I feel the same, you are ignorant and feel you can say whatever and not deal with consequences. That is why nobody likes you. What epilepsy thing!?! You have me cracking up over here.
ME: The day after Stoney. U said u n the boys were coming. U had a lunch packed n u would see at 8am
HER: Lmao didn’t you just say I bring up the past!?! Let me refresh your memory Unlike you I have responsibilities and Cody had an allergic reaction and was hospitlized! Dumb picking an argument there. He’s severly allergic to bees. Smdh again you are rediculous
ME: Suuuuurrreee. Bye
HER: Lmao have fun with your dogs and hey stop using epilepsy as an excuse, get a job and help your bf insead mooch off him the rest of your life.
– i put a lovely thumbs up for showing her colors –
HER: And yes millions of ppl wprk with epilepsy
AHHHHHHHHHHH :) i love it ♥ i’ve been talking about wanting to “break up” with her for a while now. i refuse to have people in my life who put me down. everytime we get into a tiff (which happens often because she always blows things out of proportion and out of context) she always throws out horrible mean things like dumb stupid iggnorant, like wtf. always trying to convince … idk not me but herself it seems shes better than me or other people constantly. augh. such a load off my shoulders!!!! i was getting SO sick of getting those dreadful hour long conversations of her droning on and on about non-intresting ‘drama’ about people i dont even know. did i say at any point how great i feel? haha okay so0o0o this saturday we are helping my dad move to Lapeer (up north from us a little, hr away, boo) & that is all i have for today! hope you enjoyed today’s post! bahhhahah
Haven’t been in the mood for much lately, litterally just sitting around the house and blahhhhh. Didn’t go to my cousins yesterday and instead stayed home with leon instead because I wasn’t feeling up to it. I felt like everyone was giving me the impressing it bothered them I didn’t come. Like my not feeling like it wasn’t a good enough reason? I have no reason to lie. I was not in the mood to socialize. I haven’t left my house for days, I’m just not up to it. Kill me! Rawr. I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal, and I’m making it one.
shopping! Have I mentioned I’ve been going crazy just staring at online purchases. Omg wtf, I still have to make a list of people to buy for! I’m an idiot! We have I think 10 kids to buy for! But this year for me and leon is so awesome! We are spending like 700$ each! Yum! Droooooool! I want everything in the world at once lmao. Speaking of wanting something, I’m hungry hahaha, later!
new style … hair falling out … need a haircut … short hair? … donate hair! … first haircut since promise ;;
i’m having hair anxiety lol, idk what else to call it. basically my hair is super long right now, with no shape, and lots of split ends. also recently (past two months) i have had issues with my hair falling out! yeah i know! hair falling out not in chunks in places or in clumps. but i loose normally a lot of hair, but recently the drain at the end of a shower is not just a clump of long curly hair, its a HANDFUL! no i am not exagerating. i went to the doctors and had blood tests ran, when to hey came back she had me do more testing because something was low. i know i am anemic but she said my levels are amazing .. maybe i’m not anemic anymore? hmmm? anywho – she put me on vitamins to hopefully help, so far i suppose i’ve seen a small improvement, however i don’t want to loose any hair! duh! working on that issue i suppose. sidesalad: i’ve always wanted dreads. lmao, its on my bucketlist XP
as for the “promise” .. my old best friend of 15 years use to cut my hair, every damn time. and pretty much the same cut, every damn time. during those years i swore my hairs to her sheers forever, to be her client forever. since our split last January and all the fighting months before that, i haven’t had a hair cut since … idk July/August/September of last year! its been over a year probably! and oh i looooooove the longness FYI lol. buttttttt shes not a part of my life anymore, so my hair isnt a part of mine. ive been putting it off for a long time and this is one of the reasons why. as lame as it sounds. as if im holding on? lol not the hair, the old friendship. regardless i have decided to get my hair done soon, by a really nice salon! not some Grondins, Great Clips, or Borics or something lmao. those are crappy places, sorry. lowest payment for hair – not for me ever again~! so THEN i dont want short hair yet (eventually i want this cute bob, im OBSESSED with it!), but i need to get shape back. another trim. truth is i want my long hair for my wedding day (whenever that is) and then donate it! ♥ thennnnn i want a short hair style. something i have to work at everyday and not be curly for a year or two. but then i start thinking about babies and getting the short “mom cut” lmao i’m so weird. #hairproblems
okay dumb rant first: day of birthdays people say happy birthday right? well with the me and bff issues lately she didn’t ask to hang out cause why would i call her and say hey come pick me up with ur gas and use ur stuff with me, that would have to be her offer – but if she couldn’t and was busy i feel as though she could have told me n would a been like “woo hoo let’s do that a diff time after” and we didn’t. all i got was a call that lasted less than 2 mins with blank in the background saying happy birthday. not an online msg either which usually i get all 3. somethings funky. i hate it
a couple of days before my birthday my mom calls and asks me to take me out shopping for my birthday then go out to lunch. i accepted and she wanted to invite my sister and grandma and asked if that was ok. of course that was okay with me! sounded like an awesome girls day out and a treat for me for my birthday! how spoiled am i for turning 27 right? (mind you my mom plays mind games with me and i have to stay cautious but she’s sneaky) SO day off she picks me up then my grandma – in the car ride she asks what i want, i say cute boots for this winter. we meet up with my sister at the mall and mosey around from store to store. my sister asks we all enter a store as she had her eye on a pair of shoes .. she asks my mom for them and without question my mom buys the $40 shoes. then the hunt for my boots begins. we go shoe store to store until we find the ones i like and ones i fit (mom in charge, and helping) then once i have them she gets us all together and says “okay you go ring those up and ill pull the car around so we can go to lunch” ….. uh what? i had to pay for my own shoes for my ‘birthday shopping trip’ as she called it but she bought my sister shoes in front of me. my grandma and sister were just as appalled. my sister even tried handing me money for the shoes or offered to take hers back for a refund to buy mine. i used a gift card Leon gave me the night before but regardless … the point is she doesn’t that shit on purpose. u want to know what happened after that?? ha ohhhhhhhh man!
i don’t want to write out whats going on and face issues but truth: my best friend isn’t speaking to me, hasn’t been since the 26th of October and i reached out numerous times after that until November 1st. still nothing. we left off fine, but her telling me she didn’t want to come over my house anymore and me saying it was hurting my feelings then it ended there we were suppose to hang out the next following Wednesday but i never heard from her but called and ended up finding out online she went to another friends house. huh? then no answering to any calls or msg of mine. and that’s where it stands. im confused and hurt. idk what to do but the msg is clear, she doesn’t want to speak to me right now so im giving her the space she wants …. but its been 25 days now and i am getting so over stressed and having seizures over thinking this whole situation. her not talking to me and me not clearly knowing why or her reasonings is whoa; too much! ive been sad. ive been overwhelmed. ive been in tears. ive been mad. ive been pissed, and then sad all over again.
25 days? i last left off talking about how me and my best friend, Kayde, hadn’t spoken in many days and i wasn’t sure why, at about 29 days i couldn’t take it anymore & contacted Kayde – i was having so many seizures Jean and Amy were at my house spending the nights while Leon was at work taking care of me! which i am extremely thankful for and love them very much! the people who are there for me when my health is bad are the people who care about me (random sidenote: my mom has never been that person, i feel as though she pretends). anyways i text Kayde right after some seizures, waiting all day for her reply. eventually she did and we met up a few days later to talk. we sat n talked for a half hour n made plans to hang out n go to a store a day or two later. so we discussed why she didn’t call and why i wasn’t contacting her. she had a lot of serious stuff going on her end (not going to mention, her life is not for public blast); however i am extrememely hurt that she didn’t contact me to talk to me about her serious stuff going on. i’m her best friend right? we use to call each other everyday and now i feel like i’m the only one reaching out. sometimes i feel like i’m looking into it too much and other times im all emotional about it feeling like she is being me and doesn’t give two shits. but she confirmed she does. a story to be continued…
this morning i had a counseling appointment for the first time in a year, the place i had a seizure in their office. =/ today i started off with a new therapist, giving her the basics of me, as she was in awe i was going through so much as her jaw dropped multiple times – however the session remained positive with future planning – something i am very much looking forward to. until the end of the appointment, informing me my copays was 100 something, my insurance wasnt covering it and going at least once a week is needed. but my insurance isnt covering mental health. now lets recap for a second on the insurance. i went to a hospital for mental health and my safety then when released i was forwarded to an intense out-patient all day care program, only to go one day and be told by insurance that they went over the medical paperwork and i can receive my therapy elsewhere with one on one. fine! i go to a one on one and be told they will not cover it until i can fill out history papers and prove i have a pre existing condition! WTF! are you kidding me? idk what im doing to do – i want this. i actually WANT this. i want to seek medical attention for my mental health and … augh there’s no point in complaining. things will work its way out. my main concern right now is to get prescribed celexa by SOMEONE so i don’t end up back in the hospital. its the one thing that keeps me ‘sort of’ in place.
Cash? Awesome! Currently I am working on a local business site for a close friend of Leon and I. No extreme high expectations I’m hoping, but .. he’s asking for online ordering! Problem with me doing online ordering you ask, well I don’t know how! I’ve told him its a possibility because well of course I’m going to look into it and try, however i feel like its unlikely. Cassie is negative Nancy about the subject! haha. best part is that there is no deadline or rush .. yet. so I’ve been poking around making this business site on the side.
me and Leon did not make it the entire Christmas vacation without fighting lol. two and a half weeks is a lot of time to be at home stuck together nonstop. we did great until the last night he had to go back to work. what was yesterday evening. of course it was over stupid stuff, we just needed to let it all out i suppose. we ended up spending the night apart – you on the couch me in bed then making up before you went to work the next afternoon … as we always do. its rare we stay pissed at each other longer than 24 hours as it is. regardless everything is love again ♥!
now, for the insurance issues i’ve been having… there is this “pre-x clause” I’ve been talking about saying if i have a pre existing condition i need to get insurance within 90 days of being kicked off my parents insurance at 26. SO i finally found an insurance that will do until i am able to figure out something better. i have to have my medication, duh! its annoying how you have to dance around different laws and bullshit to get what you need in order to continue living peacefully, sickening really! so i have to get that in full effect asap before the world decides that im not in need of help. retards!
lately its been one thing after another. starting out this new year kind of shitty and a whole week hasn’t gone by. lets see. new years day we woke to the toilet not working, taking the <u>entire toilet</u> off the floor too jam out random objects from our wonderful friends who attended our new years party. then the next day before we are able to wake up (i swear they didn’t knock) our gas gets turned off! we were $50 behind, yes i said $50, and they came to turn it off. we had the money but didn’t wake up to the gas company knocking on the door (three people in the house and no one heard a thing) SO we had no heat or hot water for 24 hours. thankfully Leons parents had this beautiful amish made fireplace heaters. very cute and kept the house nice and warm at 70! i was surprised to find i wasn’t going to be spending the evening shivering! so, while warm with the space heater, i spent a lot of time on the phone with my insurance company going in circles getting retarted answers, answering machines, automated whatevers and bullshit excuses. augh geez they had me so pissed off, so pissed i’m going to spare you the detailed version of the phone call, i know you would get pissed just as much if you heard the way they were treating me and probably thousands of others. i’m not pointing fingers, i’m just looking to keep my health in check. pick a price, let me pay, get my doctor visits and move on! FUCK! seriously i am stressed to the max about this bullshit in general, that and the DHS stuff i delt with last week! the result of lots of stress? hives! i have them at the top of my back/neck, my arms, and thighs! sometimes my calves & shoulders too. its a lot right now. but with a positive attitude i tried a job yesterday, but i might not be returning because of payment issues… which brings me to the insurance and disability but now im annoyed and signing off. for all you out there with insurance woes, i feel you right now!!