Category Archives: Negative

bad things

6 To 8 Months

IMG_20170901_152712_163We ended last month with the vet by making a vet appointment for our eldest dog Champ, who has a tumor growing on his balls. One day we saw blood come out of his penis so we wanted IMG_20170831_170743_983to make sure he was in no pain. because of his very old age of 11 almost 12 we knew when it started growing we were not going to get it removed or fight the cancer because of his age and life expectancy which he already has gone past happily! I took him to the appointment without leon (he could not come, was at work) i of course called him, kept him in the loop through-out the appointment & he was very emotional. emotional because the vet did a test, verified it was cancerous and most likely through-out his entire body which was spreading fast. (mass cell tumor) of course we kind of knew this, but hearing it makes it more real. the vet gave us a rough timeline that we may have  with him of “6 to 8 months”. she prescribed IMG_20170905_110629_013champ some pain medication as well as some antibiotics for the tumor which was growing very fast at this point. she said the tumor would leak daily as it grew (because it is never going to “heal” or scab up) and to make him comfy etc. leon immediately had a new rule of letting champ and the dogs on the couch so he could cuddle with them more lol. he gave champ so many treats at first that he got a little constipated but we fixed the issue! haha so as for now we are enjoying him and his amazing personality until he shows us he is not okay :)

on the 3rd i went to Arts Beats & Eats with my mom,IMG_20170903_214847_854 step dad, sister, and her bf! My mom had some tickets and i got some free tickets from me and leons friends Jaimie & Eric – it was my first time going to this event and i liked it very much. i was more into the art and going through the handmade items for sale rather than the food, but we did have some good lunch. mom wasn’t too into the “sampling” lol which is the whole idea haha. the different cultures of dancing was really fun to see and how all the stages were divided by genre was wonderful & easy to navigate! i for sure want to go next year with leon and probably our friends! i with my family had a great time this year and i got a new pair of sun glasses :) so future years look bright ;) haha! it was a beautiful warmmm day & everyone was a in a great mood! can’t ask for anything better? right?

IMG_20170918_123348_133as for health my rash is starting to really go away now! it isn’t really on my face anymore but mostly my chest and stomach. i went backkkkkk to the dr and now he says it is eczema?! …not poison ivy. oy! idk. THEN my tooth started hurting last weekend and OH MY LANTA! saturday i had a seizure then by night my tooth it was hurting – i realized a chunk had broken off and thenerve was exposed! but i took asprin and went to sleep, woke up for church with my philly on sunday , we didnt even make it to the start of mass and we had to rush out of there to URGENT care so i could get some pain medication! i was a mess! because it was sunday IMG_20170923_101929_832no dentist was open and i had to wait an additional 24 hours to have someone really take a look at it! monday i saw the dentist and he said i have to wait 2 WEEKS taking antibiotics incase there is an infection! So i am on pain meds feelings loopy and sleeping lots etc. yay. lol right now i am sitting at a campsite in Pinckney MI – Hell Survivors a paintball event. lol oy! paintballllll of course! getting warmed up for these tournaments to win for World Cup 2017! lol


IMG_20170724_173609_243since my grandma’s injury and surgery i had been keeping busy with caring for her AS MUCH as i can! she has such a hard time dressing herself, showering, and getting normal things done.. such as writing out checks for her bills! i have been trying to go over her house as much as possible! not only me but a lot of my family has been stoping by, she is also VERY bored! she cannot drive, get out etc so we are trying to keep her company & happy as well as comfortable. i set up a puzzle on her table she can work on over time because she can only use one arm right now. other than with her, while i am home i have been IMG_20170727_124837_159playing a lot of sims (which i STILL have TWO and wanting 4 to keep my mind busy, or i have abby over to put a smile on my face, which of course is a given! haha! so, after my grandma’s surgery she started having a nurse come over and care for her, so the need for me to come over has been a bit less as she regains her independence through rehab. i am happy about this but i feel like i have fallen into a bit of a .. depression. just a little meh everything is hitting me because i was being so strong for so long kinda thing. IMG_20170730_181702_053but i will be a-o-kay :) happy things like family and friends pull me out of it everytime. i was keeping busy as time went on, as july turned into August – all of a sudden time didn’t stand still any longer because of her injury as family canoeing trips happened, friend trips to the zoo took place, paintball trips to Indiana planned, & with family & friend wedding plans ahead! time is fleating once again…

IMG_20170805_210638_446the first weekend of August held our annual Tysar Canoe trip IMG_20170805_171107_065(leaving behind a family member to check on gma of course) which came with a FIRST, the little kids came along! memories to last a lifetime, pictures we will cherish forever, & many more years of fun ahead! Next weekend will hold me and leons FIRST TRIP OUT OF STATE TOGETHER! haha he has a paintball tournament in Indiana, and if they win it will help them get a playing spot in the World Cup Tournament in Florida next November! (info to come in later posts!) I am excited to go to Indiana!

Seizures? My focus on grandma has been so strong the stress didnt effect me? or so thats what i am going with? i dont know, i was totally fine! i tried my absolute best to take care of me reguarding sleep and eating – as for now, everything is feeling a tad wonky but no seizures just yet. i dont really wanna say anything because i dont want leon to miss the indiana trip or me miss the indiana trip… very childish behavior at 30 I KNOW but it is so hard to not want to enjoy life when really you DONT KNOW what could happen, to stay home and nothing happens when you could be out SUCKS. it SUCKS. blah!



She Fell

IMG_20170705_032222_295As July started off it was FAMILY TIME! there were so many fabulous family gatherings! this time of year we have some family that visits from Florida so we tend to get together on my Mom’s side of the family! We went out to Harsen’s Island which is always a blast and SO MUCH fun! I posted many pictures on my Instagram account, of courseeeeeee! On July 4th this year we had two party’s, my brother had family over his place and my cousin had family over her place for fireworks etc. I felt horrible leaving my brothers right after food ect but my brother has a littttttttle habbit of inviting us last minute to events and we have to squish him in lol.

SO we went over to my cousins later and while it IMG_20170704_220827_340was day time we enjoyed eachother, food, and the kids were everywhere! haha once dark came the guys put on an AMAZING fireworks display for what was probably an hour! it was great! at the end we were all leaving, my mom was driving me home (leon had left early because he had work the next day), we were pulling out of the driveway & my cousin sarah came running out of the house yelling that my grandma fell! of course i panicked and RAN to her! i found her on the back porch floor, everyone surrounding her as she wept in pain and fear… i tried comforting her as each person took turns trying to offer advice, help, etc – eventually we talked her into going to the ER IMG_20170712_111844_062and i called 911 giving them the information they needed to get to her as quickly as possible. me and my mom followed behind the ambulance and i called my uncle and aunt to tell them what had happened since they left the party early. they met us there and stayed as mom took me home because she had work the next day. i of course went to the hospital the next day and she was super eager to get home, so they released her not even 24 hours after she fell. IMG_20170720_074057_229she ended up dislocating her shoulder – they had to pop it back in place and schedule a surgery. while waiting she was in SO MUCH PAIN!! on the 20th the surgery took place and my uncle dropped me off so i stayed the hospital all day during the procedure etc. my cousin john came and visited but had to leave and wasnt able to see her. uncle randy came back just as she woke up then leon picked me up…

Birth DAYS!


recently we went back to the gymnasics place that we celebrated last November Kaitlyn’s 7th birthday to now celebrate Jacob’s 3rd Birthday!! :) everyone had a really great time again with a spiderman theme! i love this place as everything is really organized etc. i am so0o0o going to bring my future kiddo’s here for fun and parties! this party for jacob me and leon brought abby! she had a blast! and is still talking about it! lol next month is my sister stephanie’s birthday :)

IMG_20170408_001714_980we had ANOTHER special birthday this month! DOZER BOY! lol doggie boxer birthday! our cutie patootie turned 5 years old this year! we cannot believe how fast and big he has grown over time! he is still our big puppy boy and oh he acts like a puppy still haha. for his dad we took him for a car ride and to the pet store. we love our fur babies so much! (more about them here)


EPILEPSY WARRIORNESS: i had a crazyyy seizure in my sleep that left me so0o sore and tired IMG_20170227_125916_354and for some reason i thought it was a “good idea” to go to frenkenmuth with my mom and grandma. i slept the whole way there and the whole way back. wasnt able to enjoy convos or the food. it was horrible! i hateeee epilepsy struggle days like this!! but i was a warrior and made it through! so that alone, even though my muscles hurt and my brain is still foggy, the day is gone & the seizure is done. I MADE IT! WARRIOR!!

Seizure Days

img_20161018_221317hmm where to start? well sunday me and my gma went to church, breakfast, checked out the new flag they put up in the New Baltimore Park, and then we headed out shopping for a little while having fun together :) love days like that with her! the week went as normal consisting of my weekly monday counceling sessions and my weekly tuesday night catechism etc but then WOW! without saying much there has been some drama/stress close by in my life which resulted in a lot of seizures! tuesday night seizure, wednesday seizures, thursday seizures, and a small seizure yesturday, friday! it was quite the hurdle of feeling like CRAP and sleeping etc.  since i wasn’t doing so well i rested the whole week as much as i could, i think the only time i left the house was to go with leon yesturday to the doctors haha. today i haven’t had any seizure activity and the michigan game is on. so im about to sleep more as he watches it haha. and im pretty sure MORE football tomorrow i think but we might go over to derak and heathers, idk yet, depends on how i am feeling. then Monday is HALLOWEEEEEEEN! 

Time In Nature

HELLO EMOTIONAL CASSIE~! i haven’t been depressed or had a crying over nothing day in sooooooo long so it really caught me off guard this past week. since my friend passing away from SUDEP and her sister deleting her fb page (which im not a fan of) then me having a major seizure and being in the hospital … i have been really up and down i suppose. most days i like to consider myself to be positive as i am living my life in gratitude but feeling down has really crept up on me. of course having the coping tools from couceling has been extremely helpful! okay lets re-cap what happened. i haven’t been to counceling for two weeks (going tomorrow and cannot wait to unload) and have been sleeping A LOT so i feel like ive been falling back into my bad pattern which is NOT helpful for the brain. 20161005_123551on tuesday was my second day of catechism, which i enjoyed my 1.5hr with my student and had a lot of fun, smiles the whole time. but on wednesday i woke up just on the WRONG SIDE of the bed or something immediatly sad and crying all by myself. talked to grandma, my dad, tried to spend some time out in nature to make myself feel better but i would cry over the silliest things (now that i think about it all) and was feeling bad about everything and nothing all at the same time. THEN the church called me and needed me to sub for their first grade class. i felt obligated and said yes when really the way i was feeling i should have said no. that night i took on 15 first graders and OH MY LANTA was it something i was no mentally ready for. i left there wanting to cry more lol. but i made it. once i was home leon made everything better, of course because he is my ROCK. thursday we went to the gym but didnt go again since because i had another seizure  saturday morning :( and then slept most of today away. hopefully this week will be A LOT BETTER!!!!

Be Positive

whoaaaaaaaaa i haven’t posted since my friend past. i was pretty sad that whole day, really thinking about what could happen to me etc. SUDEP is super scary and real, but that is what makes living with this disorder beautiful… i am able to live with deep beautiful gratitude! making each day count! so this week i’ve been trying to be positive as much as i could. 20160918_171025_001last sunday was a good day! me and grandma went to church and after i had my catechism meeting and got all my teaching information etc for this year. I am teaching 3rd grade again this year but have a MUCH small class this year with only 3 students, making this year super easy and intimate! I start the first day next Tuesday! img_20160921_210338after church grandma and me headed to Brandonburg Park for a little family fun. some family came and we all hung out and ate etc. trying to enjoy the last of summer before fall!!!! grandma’s brother and his son were able to come too! :) leon had softball wednesday & i attended for the first time, and i was their only fan. it was fun watching them and they won! (i dont remember the score of course lol).

yesturday was jean’s birthday so we did cake :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY 20160922_162514JEAN! today i went with leon to his doctor appointment! i set it up for him and got him to go, first time in FOREVER since he went to a doctor! so i went in there with him and made sure we got alllllll the questions answered lmao. later tonight night i went with  grandma, mom, aunt, and my cousin to Painting With A Twist! we had a good time painting of course and my mom even got herself a little twissssted with some wine hahah. it was a good time.20160923_194735


purple-epilepsyi have some horrible news today… on Facebook i am a member of multiple closed Epilepsy Support groups where i have made many friends over the past year, and these groups have been very helpful and rewarding. My facebook epilepsy support groups have given me the opportunity to meet people worldwide who have the same disorder as me, and we are able to share experiences and feelings etc. I have built good friendships with a small few good women and men through these groups i am happy to say. of course that is not the horrible news, the horrible news is SUDEP. SUDEP is Sudden Unexplained Death by Epilepsy and one of my good friends whom i have been talking to passed away. her sister went on her page and let us friends know that late last night she had a seizure in her sleep and passed away :'( I am so sad about this. i pray for my friend Kathrine and I pray for her family. She was so sweet and so young like me. rest in peace my sweet warrior. you are now a purple angel. ♥

Don’t Connect

i have a lot of different things that don’t connect together to blog 14316785_10154507314219591_6045847016090918916_nabout so i will be hopping all around in this entry, lol sorry…   Today my late Grandpa would have been 89 years old! Happy Birthday Grandpa Tysar!!! We are all always thinking of you & missing you at each family event! rest in paradise until we meet again in the kingdom of God xoxo ♥ My grandfather has been gone now since 2001 but his memory is still so fresh, and that’s what i love, all good amazing memories! i love you for all eternity Grandpa, we all do!

14356068_10210170000463342_1943220195_nthis week has been National Suicide Prevention Week, which is the Monday through Sunday surrounding World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10th. each year (for the past 7 years) i have been participating in TWLOHA — which is To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

Recently online I have been getting into watching these live pearl parties on facebook by Vantel Pearls .. it is so addicting lol. let me explain: At a Pearl Party, they bring the oysters to us! In their amazing jewelry catalog you choose a setting you would like your pearl to be in .. but what will your pearl be?? Will your pearl be a classic white, peach, black, or other exotic colors?!?!? At the party the co-host will be opening an oyster of your choice via live facebook video pearls_fullfeed! Each oyster contains a beautiful, genuine Pearl (cultured)! When your oyster is opened and the Pearl is discovered, excitement sweeps through the Party as we all find out the color, size, or… TWINS!?! its like gambling for pearls hahah!!!! ♥ After your amazing pearl is opened it can then be mounted into a ring, necklace or any one of their many beautiful jewelry designs! You can check out their catalog here! i have been getting so into that i am actually hosting a party next weekend saturday! lol so go to my event and check it out!!

sunday leon and i went out to heather and deraks for some football watchingg since the tysar picnic got canceled due to the weather. of course during that time me and heather talked the whole time and i got her into my pearl obsession lmao. but onto the regular health update…. i made it an amazingggggg  42 days with no grandmal’s and feel 100% blessed and grateful! now onto doing it again! :) with that said i of course had an episode.. on monday i had counceling and i was feeling a bit down maybe? idk but that night i had a grandmal seizure in my sleep. leon said it wasn’t too long but only one. moving forward with a positive mind!

Painted Dog Walks

leon started softball last week! i was suppose to go to his game but ended up not feeling good. i haven’t had a seizure in a while, since before i went to my dad’s but i was feeling dizzy and out of it i suppose so to be safe leon had me stay home instead of go to his first game as planned… i stayed home and slept and didn’t have a seizure and the guys ended up playing their first game not so well lol. they were given a mercy by the other team or something haha. but it is something fun for him this summer and cheap good fun. so that was last week wednesday and all his games will now be wednesday nights. thursday i got cleaning done all day and leon watched football. blah. friday leon, his family, and i went out to dinner and pacos tacos … a family favorite of the stillwell & calverts lol. mexican is not my favorite but i finally think i found a dish i like there! over the weekend i started painting back up! leon even went out and bought me new paint colors :) i decided to help with money costs this year as we are behind on the garage remodel i am going to do a painting for each family member. it will be a nice, loving, handmade, and not costly xmas gift for all. the idea lit a fire under my but and i did two paintings! lol i will have to make a PAINTINGS page on soon to keep a little corner/record of all my work!IMG_20160825_174920 and then toooooooday this afternoon leon and i headed up to New Baltimore again to catch pokemon and enjoy the town. not many of the shops were open unfortunately but this one new custard shop we tried, it was cute we loved it. had some awesome ice cream with strawberries!! yum! then did some more walking and headed home. tonight we are going over his parents house again for dinner :) should be fun!

sidesalad* Ella is leaving tomorrow for her safety. we have been looking for a dfghjhome for her since the 16th our female sasha and her keep getting into horrible fights – for for her safety, their safety and ours she is moving to another temporary home :( i am deeply sad about this. so much stress on her. she is such a loving caring beautiful amazing pet and deserves so much love in return and i just wish all us humans could get our act together and give her what she needs physically and emotionally! praying for a forever home for ella! and saying goodbye to ella tomorrow :(

In My Pee

abby turned 3 :'( she was so cute when we sang happy birthday blowing out her candles! amy made her a cake and dumplings for dinner and gave her gag candles that wouldnt go out! lol she thought it was so funny! after opening a few gifts they gave her a new play kitchen that she freaked out over! lol she was so excited! it was so fun to watch. later that night i had 3 nocturnal seizures =/ i was surprisingly not tired the next day. today however i had another one, at the mall! :( okay here is the story:

IMG_20160515_230747abbys birthday party with family and her little friend was at the macomb mall at this bounce house place, it was a lot of fun and she had a blast! you couldnt get her to stop having fun lol. after her cake and presents me and leon went off into the mall to go looking for a reunion dress.. after we picked a couple out i headed into the dressing room. leon said i tried on one and then didnt come out again, he heard me making noise and told the attendant to come check on me! she did and i was on the floor seizing, blocking the door. she had leon come back there to help her. he came in and got me somewhat alert. once i woke up i realized where i was and then that i had lost control of my bladder during the seizure. i was sitting there on the floor in my underwear and bra, in my pee :( i started panicking about it not knowing what to do and leon and the lady told me everything would be okay. they got stuff to clean me up, clean up the floor, threw away my underwear, got me clothes, and made sure i didnt have a concussion or need an ambulance as i hit my head on the wall =/ i was able to walk out with leon and he drove me home, got me in the shower and in bed or sleeping and now im awake ♥ he is the most amazing person in the world! at the time i was so embaressed but overall i thought about it, i was in a girl dressing room, not many people saw me, and i will never see any of those people again, it was at macomb mall. i survived another seizure! boom!

tomorrow is me and leons six year anniversary <3 i am blessed!

Almost Two

on saturday morning the family all got together at a local restaurant for breakfastIMG_20160409_222159 since my uncle was in town from florida :) it was nice having a big group of us together. later in the day we all got together in the day we all got together over my other uncles house for more fun etc! it was very nice sharing some time with my cousins, aunts, uncles, and second cousins! the cousins have all been growing up too fast and the little ones are getting too big too fast. its time fleeting before our eyes! with family time  over the weekend sunday was siblings day and then also this past weekend came crappy weather time! SNOW!
omg we could not believe it! in april after easter! it was horrible! the north got it much worse but still! our family if florida of course was laughing it up at us. ha. ha. ha. you butts! we will get our hottttttt summer, then as a true michigander i will complain for coldness! or i am just cassie and never happy! lol

IMG_20160421_100242on the 14th i was pretty happy to be 1 week seizure free and had soooo much energy! yesterday the 20th me and amy went on a long walk down to brandenburg with abby so she could play on the park for a few. we ended up seeing some of the calverts up there and she was able to play with her cousins for a while and then we walked back. because i never walk that much i got a few blisters! whoa nelly! went to counceling that night and had a crazy headache and had a hard time getting through the appointment. i ended up having an absence seizure today and stareing off. i was pretty excited because today WOULD HAVE BEEN 2 weeks seizure free but its okay, i will get there. i will be getting charlottes web oil soon!

Goodbye Gloria

IMG_20160401_012234since easter me and leon have still been keeping up with the gym :) it has been nice – on the weekends its awesome because no one is there and the place is practically vacant haha. IMG_20160402_194934so we have the gym to ourselves! i haven’t moved up in how much i can lift yet but im getting there. also my little miss abby came over for a day of fun with her aunt cassie ♥ she went crazy with the stickers this time! haha she is getting much better at peeling them off. we did painting, coloring, cleaning, lol, bathtime, and her new favorite show, peppa pig! her birthday is next month, she will be turning 3! and her theme amy says will most likely be peppa pig! lol the new shows these days.

some sad news… yesterday my cat gloria that lives with my mom and step dad passed away. i got her in august of 2004 and she quickly became a family cat of course. when i moved out of my moms i didn’t want to disrupt her life and introduce her to large dogs etc so she stayed at my parents. they did an awesome job taking care of her but she was getting older and passed away at 12yrs old, almost 13 in cat years :( so sad. no matter the time, the age, or the circumstance .. it always hurts to loose a pet you’ve loved.

(i love this picture of me and her because this was a SuperBowl day back when i was in High School - i let her walk the board and i put her name down once on a square to win ... she won ALL THE MONEY FOR ME! All the guys were pissed a CAT won lol 💰 thank you Gloria! i will never forget it!)

(i love this picture of me and her because this was a SuperBowl day back when i was in High School – i let her walk the board and i put her name down once on a square to win … she won ALL THE MONEY FOR ME! All the guys were pissed a CAT won lol 💰 thank you Gloria! i will never forget it!)

Negatives Into Positives

Sunday me and my grandma went to church for palm Sunday. IMG_20160323_103055The beginning of holy week! Also the first day of spring! The weather has been a lot nicer but crazy up north I hear! The news is they have up to 8 inches of snow! Yuck!  So happy we have green grass for Easter! On tuesday I said my goodbyes to my first Catechism class ever!  So bitter sweet. It has been a great learning experience and I am excited to do it again next year! Yesterday as well a scary thing happened! Before class I called leon, he answered and said “I got into am accident” and then the call went silent. The call was still connected but couldn’t hear anything! I was so worried! Before my grandma came to pick me up he explained what happened… on the express way,  going 60, thr car infront of him saw debris and hit their brakes,  so did leon and to avoid traffid hit the wall. No one, including leon was hurt, praise the Lord. Hitting the wall ruined his parents truck. jeeeeeeeepToday he took off work and we took the lumina we have had sitting in our drive12049365_10208687694926630_1944560166651956163_nway that needs work and found out it isn’t worth the work,  so we are donating it to mother waddles :-) with no transportation and leon needing to get to work we headed to the car lot amd purchased a 2015 Jeep!!!! Our remodel plan is pushed to 2017, but oddly I’m okay with it. We are on a broke plan again lol so I’m going to have to adjust again!

As for easter plans leons family is coming over our place again this year and we are hosting :-) what are your Easter plans?

Happy Hope

20160313_145632Maddie’s 3rd birthday was so much fun! eventually i will post the ‘happy birthday’ videos on my youtube channel. leon, my mom, and grandma didn’t go – so since i don’t drive i went down my list of people to ask haha. next in line, my sister :) she and aj were in town visiting parents and for maddie’s so i hitched a ride with sisterface xox. love alone time with her! at chuck e’ cheese we all had fun, so cute to see the little ones have fun as well! i took soooooo many pictures! im michelle’s poparazzi! (sp?) leon and i bought maddie a favorite of hers, PLAYDOUGH! classic ♥  and a book. so cute!

on monday grandma as i went to her cousins funeral. i havent seen some of that side of the extended family since i was a little girl, or i was meeting some people for the first time. that part was nice. being there for the family and grandma was the difficult part. seeing the grandkids, the daughters and sons, the husband feel the close loss. the loss that i know one day i will deeply feel with my own grandmother sadly. but with my faith it brings me to a comforting place, a good place. this is a wonderful quote i found online that i strongly believe.

“The beautiful thing about death for Christians is that it isn’t really death at all. It’s just taking one last breath on this side of heaven and the next standing before Jesus, singing before the throne and loving our Savior even more than we did on this earth. And in the meantime, we pray for the families left here on this side of eternity.”


i use to tell myself i can’t do it… when i first saw this img i was between i want to & how do i? i am climbing these stairs and now i am at i’ll try & i can!! ♥

leon’s mom had back surgery and is back home resting already. she is doing great just really really bored. i totally know the feeling! i think im going to get some of my post secret books or something, talk leon into us lending her the StreamSmart (online cable box) for new movies to watch etc. ♥ the faster the days go buy the faster she will heal! ;) in my healing world it always is a slow process but i try to keep the same positive outlook! recently i have been having a few alice in wonderland seizures, two grand mal seizures, and randomly waking up during my sleep and sitting up sleeping/staring off. the waking up thing is somewhat new for me i think? then in weight loss i have been drinking more plexus, i need to get back on my plexus pills, and me and leon are doing the gym! root for us! woot woot! lol i am. i want it now more than ever to get myself healthy and hope for a seizure free future! i was at a healthy weight before and still having seizures … but did you hear that? healthy! augh, such a lovely word :) but now i am having less, so imagine was two positives could do. & and third positive with PLEXUS! i’m going to have to buy cara a gift basket in the end! haha.

last night i did family night at saint mary’s to help with the craft room – getting real sad my last class is only one week away :'(

Over Parked

IMG_20151030_134633IMG_20151029_174646i have spent some time at my grandma’s, out to lunch with her another day, out shopping more than once for supplies so i can make a baby blanket for church lol (to donate for a baptism ♥) we went to the library to fax something but stayed to put a puzzle together hahah. we have been having a lot of fun and she is so giving and caring. i love her lots. she even surprised me with two little pumpkins for me to have and paint! of course i painted one purple for epilepsy [why?] and then me and abby painted the other together :) i had a blast helping her and then of course a fun bubble bath after! its always fun over aunt cassie and uncle leons house!!! well… unless it’s nap time, then not so much haha.

then sadly leons uncle mike passed away. all of the family knew it was coming. he has been in the hospital and then hospice now for a little while with a failing liver and kidneys :( we of course drove up north to the funeral. leon was unable to come because of work – which speaking of his job. they were on and off a “strike” contract renewal for a month or two and yay to say it is finally over and most at the car plant are happy with the outcome. at least i know we are happy to say we are! a raise in pay! yay!

on the 23rd me and heather went to the painting class thing, and with our food and drinks we went happy as can be and painted away for our first times. we had a lot of fun but felt a little rushed at the end. we were both happy with our paintings in the end :) i love mine and hung it in our livingroom. i pretty much showed everyone including my therapist mary jo haha. i can be proud! duh! my dad offered to buy it from me! lol of course its cause i painted it but i didnt give cause i love it so much cause its my FIRST. =P




and so0o0o then for tonight, halloween. we didnt do anything cool except go downtown detroit and eat dinner at texas de brazil then get a $40 parking ticket lmao. awesome end to our night!

Oct Happenings

hello october! of course i say this all too often, but this year has flown. op0o09090ooo0ooo haha sorry i had a smudge on my keyboard i needed to remove. and i also needed to type that out on my blog and inform all who read this. or no one who doesn’t read this. lol idk. okay so. october happenings – leon had another paintball tournament, unfortunately this time they didnt even place even in the top 3. so they are scheduleing a practice in november. IMG_20151110_205017 i really started getting into catechism on tuesdays and planning out my lessons :) its been a lot of fun! we learned about st. paul, which is our grades saint. (3rd grade) we have been of course keeping busy with crafts like these crosses, and had a family night, and a tornado drill which gave me so much anxiety. whoa. also i have two kids in my class that are giving me some trouble, but i will work on it. i need to be a happy firm lady and figure out how to work with them all in a positive way.

then mid month i had this child protection class i had to take to be a 20151105_173239teacher at catechism. it was about child molestation. it was so hard to hear. then a few days later i had to go in to this disability mental evaluation test and she of course asked me about that crap and other shit that made me upset and cry infront of a stranger. i hated it. it ruiened my week. my mood. idk. i quickly had a little sad dip i guess idk what to call it i guess. i didnt want to go to therapy. i missed one appt. i missed catechism once. it was blah.


Never Goodbye

Oh my! I went to the brunch on Sunday and made a split decision .. im not going to be an aid anymore, im a full on catechist!!!! whoa more upsetness from leon and worry from grandma but grandma is going to take me each tuesday and i am SUPER excited! even more now than i was before!

My grandma got a call that my aunt wasnt doing well, so her and my mom quickly flew to Florida to see what help they could offer and be there for her and her husband. Because of this my GMA couldn’t take me to catechism as planned, so jean took me… The class went fine and there was allot of spare time lol, I didn’t plan so well. But it was fun and exciting.

IMG_20150930_174727The next day I sadly found out that my teacher I blogged about before, Cathy russman passed away. So sad. Her funeral is tomorrow, Thursday. She brought so many smiles, memories, and lessons to everyone. She was such an inspiring person, she pushed us all to be stronger and better always. Love her and she will be missed by many! Love you Cathy as do many. And as I said before as well, her kids didn’t have much money but thousands was donated to them for her for the funeral etc. She deserved it all!

Down With The Sickness

right before Easter leons dad went into surgery on his knee for the fourth time. IMG_20150411_172501(did i mention that? if i did, i am again lol) and will be in the hospital for about a month. because of this amy has had me watching abby a few times. then outta no where leon got sick. then i got sick. so i stayed away from abby but to no prevail, germs are sticky sons of bitches and now poor abby is sick too.  michelle wanted me to watch her girls again last friday but i had to say no because ive been sick. what kind of sick? runny nose, cant breathe, scratchy throat etc – “normal” cough/cold flu kinda thing. today it seems to be doing a lot better. i can use my nostrils today! yippie! the joy! lol so overall id say ive been sick now about a week.

epilepsy/disability front: i have gotten in contact with my lawyer again and she will represent for me again :) so pleased. i need to see the dr. asap. fuck i should have called them before 5pm! its too late today, i will call them tomorrow and discuss this new possible tourettes situation im dealing with. xoxox

An Angel Named Clara

I have said this before and I’m going to continue saying one of my strongest beliefs and favorite quotes, everything happens for a reason. Good and bad.

I mentioned in past posts about family drama on Leon’s side – of course fighting rips everyone apart and feelings get crushed, but then then things happen, good and bad that bring people together again. Always.

Today Leon’s grandma on his dads side passed away. She has dimensia as well as blindness, diabetes etc. I’ve posted about her before. (Search “Leon grandma” for references on the right) the past few days she’s been refusing to eat. Her health has been declineing since December so weve all known its been coming, so I feel like it makes it a little easier. Everyone is more prepared mentally etc.

As for the funeral plans and extended family, everything is rough. Money use to be set aside but its gone now. Leon’s grandmas kids are fudeing over arangments, grandmas things, and just “you don’t care enough” in general.

Side salad: we were supposed to go to Steve’s in Waterford but didn’t cause I was randomly tired. If we had, we would have missed going to the home to see her before she goes to get cremated. Everything happens for a reason.

Gifted Impressions

Haven’t been in the mood for much lately, litterally just sitting around the house and blahhhhh. Didn’t go to my cousins yesterday and instead stayed home with leon instead because I wasn’t feeling up to it. I felt like everyone was giving me the impressing it bothered them I didn’t come. Like my not feeling like it wasn’t a good enough reason? I have no reason to lie. I was not in the mood to socialize. I haven’t left my house for days, I’m just not up to it.   Kill me! Rawr. I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal, and I’m making it one.

shopping! Have I mentioned I’ve been going crazy just staring at online purchases. Omg wtf, I still have to make a list of people to buy for! I’m an idiot! We have I think 10 kids to buy for! But this year for me and leon is so awesome! We are spending like 700$ each! Yum! Droooooool! I want everything in the world at once lmao. Speaking of wanting something, I’m hungry hahaha, later!