Halloween

img_20161031_132430img_20161031_173732Happy Halloween everyone! It’s late right now and I am in bed at my grandma’s spending the night :) she picked me up, we had pizza for dinner and had so much fun handing out candy to all the kids img_20161102_200732dressed up! the best costume’s of course were the homemade ones and my favorite i saw was a kid who was a poke’stop hahha. loved it! grandma and i watched movies, and gabbed allllllll night. like i said, so much fun. i even played some nintendo ha and no i am not good as i use to be! lol now i need to cuddle up and go to sleep, which is hard when your not at home, but staying the night makes my little cutie happy and makes me happy to spend time with her! this week on wednesday of course i get more time with her ♥ couldnt be more grateful to have this lady in my life! xoxo

Seizure Days

img_20161018_221317hmm where to start? well sunday me and my gma went to church, breakfast, checked out the new flag they put up in the New Baltimore Park, and then we headed out shopping for a little while having fun together :) love days like that with her! the week went as normal consisting of my weekly monday counceling sessions and my weekly tuesday night catechism etc but then WOW! without saying much there has been some drama/stress close by in my life which resulted in a lot of seizures! tuesday night seizure, wednesday seizures, thursday seizures, and a small seizure yesturday, friday! it was quite the hurdle of feeling like CRAP and sleeping etc.  since i wasn’t doing so well i rested the whole week as much as i could, i think the only time i left the house was to go with leon yesturday to the doctors haha. today i haven’t had any seizure activity and the michigan game is on. so im about to sleep more as he watches it haha. and im pretty sure MORE football tomorrow i think but we might go over to derak and heathers, idk yet, depends on how i am feeling. then Monday is HALLOWEEEEEEEN! 

Realness

img_20161026_132512since my last post we celebrated champ our oldest dog turning 11 years old!! crazy pup you can’t even tell he is that old because he has so much energy and spirit lol. we took him out for a walk and for some ice cream at DQ :) leon and i also have been helping my grandma get a lot of things done around her house, like putting in new appliances etc. yay for helping and yay for grandma days ♥

last saturday was Tommy’s (leons paintball buddy) wedding! we got all pretty and had a really good time enjoying and celebrating with them! followed by dinner and football on sunday haha! but in short i have been enjoying volunteering at catechism a lot this year. this month i really got to know them and moving forward with lessons has been a lot smoother etc. one of my students is a female but goes by he pronouns and dresses like a girl. img_20161015_223554intresting meeting someone at the age of 7 who is identifiing as a different sex than they were born. i am happy god put this little boy in my life :) tuesday i went out to lunch with emily from my high school committee team, we had a lot of fun sitting and gabbing the whole afternoon! this wednesday me and grandma kicked back and watched movies as the weather has been getting colder etc so we snuggled up together. at home leon and i turned the heat on officially! WINTER IS COMING! lol

Lines

donkeyelephant-cartoon-finalUSA! this year is an election year and the debates between trump and hillary have been going on… now I am not one to post, blog, or comment on anything political & I try to stay out of this on social media and I keep my feelings to myself; however I cant stay completely quiet any longer. We have one candidate running on a slogan “make america great again” and another saying that we are already “good” then we have the media slinging everything they can to fire us up and keep us on their agenda. Then we are joining in slamming each candidate on social media constantly and making arguments about what this one did is so bad/illegal while ignoring what bad/illegal things the other has done. What we are doing as Americans is we are dividing the lines even deeper so we have no hope of being “good” or “great again”. We chose these two individuals as our running mates by either voting for them in the primaries or not voting at all. So my advice is stop letting the media and the mud slinging impact your decision start finding a way to make a difference in your daily life and the life’s of those around you. America was built on the shoulders of leaders not followers, get out there and lead and stop following this crap like mindless cattle. If we all just do that then America will not only be good it will be great. Neither candidate nor Media Outlet has an agenda to unite us as Americans, everything about this race has done nothing but divide us more as a country. I have decided that i am going to use my vote next month not for either  candidate but for a third party nomination vote. I dont want to one day look back and be asked by my children who i voted for and tell them i did not vote as well as be a part of this “mess”.

Oimg_20160426_000153ther than political bullshit I am doing MUCH BETTER! my last post was so sad, but i think thats what blogging is for, to help me get things out, look back, review, move forward and live life in #gratitude ♥ so happy to have cassiedotcom.com :) lol of course. with each passing year i am growing. and i feel it, i know it. in 2012 i wanted to give up and entered myself into a phyciatric (sp?) hospital, and since then i have only been climbing the stairs of greatness. i am super proud of myself. sometimes you feel like you are the only one having a hard time, but we all are. we are constant works in progress, preparing ourselves for eternity in the kingdom of God! Amen! I had counseling last night and she was so reassuring of my wednesday cry fest, how all the feelings i was having i turned each of them around into i feel icky about this, so im going to fix it this way! yay for therapy! lol. so health wise i am back to me and working on my fabulousness with THREE DAYS SEIZURE free under my belt! because EVERY victory matters!

Time In Nature

HELLO EMOTIONAL CASSIE~! i haven’t been depressed or had a crying over nothing day in sooooooo long so it really caught me off guard this past week. since my friend passing away from SUDEP and her sister deleting her fb page (which im not a fan of) then me having a major seizure and being in the hospital … i have been really up and down i suppose. most days i like to consider myself to be positive as i am living my life in gratitude but feeling down has really crept up on me. of course having the coping tools from couceling has been extremely helpful! okay lets re-cap what happened. i haven’t been to counceling for two weeks (going tomorrow and cannot wait to unload) and have been sleeping A LOT so i feel like ive been falling back into my bad pattern which is NOT helpful for the brain. 20161005_123551on tuesday was my second day of catechism, which i enjoyed my 1.5hr with my student and had a lot of fun, smiles the whole time. but on wednesday i woke up just on the WRONG SIDE of the bed or something immediatly sad and crying all by myself. talked to grandma, my dad, tried to spend some time out in nature to make myself feel better but i would cry over the silliest things (now that i think about it all) and was feeling bad about everything and nothing all at the same time. THEN the church called me and needed me to sub for their first grade class. i felt obligated and said yes when really the way i was feeling i should have said no. that night i took on 15 first graders and OH MY LANTA was it something i was no mentally ready for. i left there wanting to cry more lol. but i made it. once i was home leon made everything better, of course because he is my ROCK. thursday we went to the gym but didnt go again since because i had another seizure  saturday morning :( and then slept most of today away. hopefully this week will be A LOT BETTER!!!!

Another ER Visit

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EPILEPSY WARRIOR

WHOA have things been crazy this past week! last tuesday i had catechism class (as i posted about) and the day went by fine and i came home and leon bought pizza then we hung out for a bit and went to bed. i suppose some time in the middle of the night i got up sleep walking or something and had a seizure, falling and hitting my head on our entertainment center! THANKFULLY leon woke up and heard the noise and came to care for me. i guess it took him a while to get me to the hospital but eventually he got me there around 4am  and they checked me over for my skull and head injuries etc because i hit my head. they had me stay at the hospital, and even though leon took work off for wednesday img_20160929_150216because of all of it, he had not gotten any sleep all night so he called my mom and grandma and went home for some sleep. i woke up the next day with them by my side and a text from leon that made me very emotional because of how much he goes through. he is my rock! after some time i was feeling better and they let me go home later wednesday night. even though they let me go home i was still kinda loopy and groggy for a few days and needed lots of sleep so thats what i did. thursday leon had to work so i went over my grandma’s and slept there and she made dinner for me and leon because she is a sweetheart <3 she is my best friend i love her so much!!!

Everything else has been so hazy and i dont remember some days. img_20161011_000341i know we went out to breakfast one day with leons dad, and grocery shopping one day lol but mostly ive been sleeping a lot. i doooooo remember yesturday (saturday) as we stayed home again for some football but leon had the guys over and i had my second pearl party online! i ended up getting my goal for my free setting. SO i ended up opening a SECOND oyster! the first oyster i opened was a dark and the second was a pretty pink ♥ both 7.5 in size. i am having the dark in a bracelet and the pink in a ring :) yay lol so we shall see when they come.

Hard Cries

saturday was the pearl party i hosted that i was talking about in my other post :) the vantel pearl constultant did a live feed video, there was other oyster openings with people who opened some pearls and i opened my free oyster as well and got a DARK PEARL. of course that is what everyone wants, not the classic white lol. img_20160928_015813it’s like pearl gambling haha. SO my pearl is a dark blushish with some purple in it maybe? i have these pictures of the video feed from the pearl party but cannot WAIT to get it in person. the pearl was large in size too at 7.5! lol oh my the new things i get excited about at age 29! almost embaressing haha. okay sooooo for the party i didn’t reach my goal all the way for my free setting for the pearl so i am having ANOTHER free party on October 1st and then i should reach my goal ♥

also all day on saturday me and leon had a slow day of relaxing as he watched football (blah) – so at one point i went next door to see leons dad (Big Leon) and he looked super tired, pretty much napping… so i decided to take Abby over our house and have us watch her as she was kinda all alone over there (her mom and nana were out). 20160924_125348Abby was EXTREMELY unhappy that i took her away from her papa (she doesn’t come over as much anymore and is with only the three of them) so she cried —> and cried, and cried, and cried HARD! she screamed for her papa, and toys, and drink, and pretty much anything she could think of at her house to get us to take her back home because she didn’t want to be with us. she cried for about 20 mins before crying herself to sleep on the floor. she napped for a half hour, then woke up and was totally okay lol. i played with her, got her some food, and we had a good time coloring, stickers, polly pockets, & watching a barbie movie etc until her mom came home for the night.

i started catechism tonight and all went good. i was much more prepared this year and comfortable with everything knowing the routine etc, so my anxiety was much lower than last year. i met two of my students and we had fun getting to know eachother and i was happy to find out they are two kids who knew their prayers, went to church etc so their parents are going to be very helpful in getting them through this year with me. :) oh and yesturday was the presidental debates… trump vs. hillary. smh.

Be Positive

whoaaaaaaaaa i haven’t posted since my friend past. i was pretty sad that whole day, really thinking about what could happen to me etc. SUDEP is super scary and real, but that is what makes living with this disorder beautiful… i am able to live with deep beautiful gratitude! making each day count! so this week i’ve been trying to be positive as much as i could. 20160918_171025_001last sunday was a good day! me and grandma went to church and after i had my catechism meeting and got all my teaching information etc for this year. I am teaching 3rd grade again this year but have a MUCH small class this year with only 3 students, making this year super easy and intimate! I start the first day next Tuesday! img_20160921_210338after church grandma and me headed to Brandonburg Park for a little family fun. some family came and we all hung out and ate etc. trying to enjoy the last of summer before fall!!!! grandma’s brother and his son were able to come too! :) leon had softball wednesday & i attended for the first time, and i was their only fan. it was fun watching them and they won! (i dont remember the score of course lol).

yesturday was jean’s birthday so we did cake :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY 20160922_162514JEAN! today i went with leon to his doctor appointment! i set it up for him and got him to go, first time in FOREVER since he went to a doctor! so i went in there with him and made sure we got alllllll the questions answered lmao. later tonight night i went with  grandma, mom, aunt, and my cousin to Painting With A Twist! we had a good time painting of course and my mom even got herself a little twissssted with some wine hahah. it was a good time.20160923_194735

SUDEP

purple-epilepsyi have some horrible news today… on Facebook i am a member of multiple closed Epilepsy Support groups where i have made many friends over the past year, and these groups have been very helpful and rewarding. My facebook epilepsy support groups have given me the opportunity to meet people worldwide who have the same disorder as me, and we are able to share experiences and feelings etc. I have built good friendships with a small few good women and men through these groups i am happy to say. of course that is not the horrible news, the horrible news is SUDEP. SUDEP is Sudden Unexplained Death by Epilepsy and one of my good friends whom i have been talking to passed away. her sister went on her page and let us friends know that late last night she had a seizure in her sleep and passed away :'( I am so sad about this. i pray for my friend Kathrine and I pray for her family. She was so sweet and so young like me. rest in peace my sweet warrior. you are now a purple angel. ♥

Don’t Connect

i have a lot of different things that don’t connect together to blog 14316785_10154507314219591_6045847016090918916_nabout so i will be hopping all around in this entry, lol sorry…   Today my late Grandpa would have been 89 years old! Happy Birthday Grandpa Tysar!!! We are all always thinking of you & missing you at each family event! rest in paradise until we meet again in the kingdom of God xoxo ♥ My grandfather has been gone now since 2001 but his memory is still so fresh, and that’s what i love, all good amazing memories! i love you for all eternity Grandpa, we all do!

14356068_10210170000463342_1943220195_nthis week has been National Suicide Prevention Week, which is the Monday through Sunday surrounding World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10th. each year (for the past 7 years) i have been participating in TWLOHA — which is To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

Recently online I have been getting into watching these live pearl parties on facebook by Vantel Pearls .. it is so addicting lol. let me explain: At a Pearl Party, they bring the oysters to us! In their amazing jewelry catalog you choose a setting you would like your pearl to be in .. but what will your pearl be?? Will your pearl be a classic white, peach, black, or other exotic colors?!?!? At the party the co-host will be opening an oyster of your choice via live facebook video pearls_fullfeed! Each oyster contains a beautiful, genuine Pearl (cultured)! When your oyster is opened and the Pearl is discovered, excitement sweeps through the Party as we all find out the color, size, or… TWINS!?! its like gambling for pearls hahah!!!! ♥ After your amazing pearl is opened it can then be mounted into a ring, necklace or any one of their many beautiful jewelry designs! You can check out their catalog here! i have been getting so into that i am actually hosting a party next weekend saturday! lol so go to my event and check it out!!

sunday leon and i went out to heather and deraks for some football watchingg since the tysar picnic got canceled due to the weather. of course during that time me and heather talked the whole time and i got her into my pearl obsession lmao. but onto the regular health update…. i made it an amazingggggg  42 days with no grandmal’s and feel 100% blessed and grateful! now onto doing it again! :) with that said i of course had an episode.. on monday i had counceling and i was feeling a bit down maybe? idk but that night i had a grandmal seizure in my sleep. leon said it wasn’t too long but only one. moving forward with a positive mind!

Labor Celebrations

this past weekend was labor day weekend! cannot believe the end of summer is pretty much almost here!!! it is still really hot & the michigan weather is lovely but the ‘oh my time is flying by’ feeling is coming again as another season just flew past! it was a short summer! but lots to look forward to always so not sad lol, this fall i get to start catechism again at the end of this month! yay! so i will not be sleeping this september (lmao wake me up when september ends duh).img_20160904_205106

anyyyyyyyways for labor day celebrations on Sunday the Tysar family all went out to Harsen’s island again and spent time together :) it was of course lots of good food and good laughs! leon was able to come and didn’t have work or anything and it was his first time seeing my aunt and uncles house on the island so that was fun. right when we got there i had a dumb cassie moment and fell down the stairs of the front porch and got a nasty bruise/mark on my ankle. oh man. cassie cassie cassie. haha. img_20160904_204834later in the afternoon some of usimg_20160904_204730 went out on my uncles boat for two hours around the island which was a lottttt of fun! once we got back we played lots of cards and headed home. on monday, labor day, me and leon headed to the New Baltimore park just the two of us for a little date. we packed up a picnic lunch and everything we needed, and went to the beach ♥ we did very little swimming haha but we ate and cuddled and napped in the sun. as time went by his cousin stopped by, we ended up seeing three of our high school classmates, and then an ice cream parlor later we ended the day :)

as for my silly little health updates, my late blog was about my fabulous celebration of being one moth seizure free, and im still NO GRAND MAL SEIZURES but yesturday i spent the day with my grandma, was kinda sleepy for the day, went to sleep and in the evening i ended up (so leon said) waking up sleeping walking and waking up stareing off so having an absence seizure or two. hoping i still go longer and the CBDoils keep me on the right track but at the same i know its not magic. #epilepsywarrior #gratitude

31 Days!

ONE MONTH SEIZURE FREE

i 4e0a38e8a8cdc82373fd4065152dc2a2of course needed to stop and take a moment to blog and celebrate with the world that i am one month seizure free! thirty one amazing days with no major grandmal seizures! i am so blessed as this hasn’t happened in so long! today me and leon are celebrating with a little bit of cheesecake and strawberries together and i will be continueing with no more seizures! :) i am a warrior and i choose not to suffer epilepsy, i battle epilepsy! ♥ please go to my epilepsy page!

random sidesalad: today is my dads birthday! happy birthday to my fabulous dad!

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Drafted

img_20160828_222100last sunday leon and i headed out to buffalo wild wings to meet up with all of his friends for one of his fantasy football drafts he entered! it was a good time :) since i wasn’t in the fantasy draft i brought my computer and kept myself busy on that etc while it was going on and had dinner since it was a long process for all the guys and girls. img_20160828_222153 leon received his gold fantasy football belt as he won last years draft haha. so he will hand it down to next years winner haha. they are all goofy! lol tuesday me and mister thought it would be fun to bring champ our boxer dog to dairy queen and treat him to some ice cream. since we got ella a new home the boys have been having some dominance issues and champ had the dominance first so we are trying to re-establish that for him between the guy dogs.

wednesday i spent some time with grandma and after i came home and got lots of sleeeeeep! once leon came home he checked the mail and i got some of my new sims 2 games! yay for being a simmer!haha and then today (friday) leon and i took dozer to the vet to check him for cancer and got him some shots. the bumps he had were both non cancerous :)img_20160902_091039

Grateful

20160414_150031update on Ella, the dog we have been fostering since January.. Cj, leons cousin and ella’s owner, came and picked her up. the dogs got into one last fight sunday and i another monday while waiting for him to pick her up to the next temporary owner. she left and then we went into even more full throttle looking for a forever owner over the week – thankfully i got into contact with an old friend i had back 11 years ago in High School! her and her family were very happy and excited to get her to their home. Cj then took her from the temporary home to her forever home officially on Friday!! i am deeply happy about this but as i have spent so much time with her here in our home, and cj raised her from a puppy for 4 years.. we are so sad to see her not in the family anymore and with another. its a bittersweet goodbye. we are all elated though she went to a good home of someone i know and we can get updates of :) #grateful

over this week leon’s second softball game got canceled due to rain & i did more painting! yesturday i went over my moms in the evening to help my mom make chocolate covered pretzels and surprizingly today me and leon went up to saint mary’s family festival, which i was hoping to make an appearance! we walked around new baltimore again seeing all the cool vendors out for the summer and catching our poke’mon haha.

also today leon and i were talking about my health etc and realized i haven’t had a seizure in awhile so we counted the days out and when i started the 5,000mg oil etc &…. It has been 20 days since I switched to my highest dose of Charlottes Web CBD oil & i am as of today TWENTY FOUR DAYS SEIZURE FREE!!!! This is the longest I have gone without a seizure in YEARS! if anyone needs some type of proof that medical marijuana products work or are more than recreational, I am it!!!! #grateful

in bad/good news .. i was home earlier this week with my HP laptop open on the coffee table and a full glass of kooliad. (you can see where this is going). i went to let the dogs outside, and they were very excited one bumped into the table and the the whole glass spilled alllllllll over the keyboard! i immediatly poured it off, panicked, grabbed a towel, and just started crying. leon walked in and didnt know what was going on. there was a huge FROWN FACE blue screen that said restart on the screen and i showed him. he was like OMG CALM DOWN BUT TURN IF OFF. 20160121_102415 i was freaking out over it being ruined that i didn’t even take the battery out. i was for sure it was done and i lost everything. so he immediatly (because leon is the best in the world) helped me and took the computer out the garage and blew it out with the air compressor. we let the computer sit off and dry for three days as we talked about the possibility options of a new computer for christmas and the options of getting my files. as each day passed i would remember more and more things that were saved on my laptop that i had lost. thennnnnnnn finally after the three days it came time to try it out, turn it on and see what happens. i turned it on, screen worked etc but it was slow – but overall i sighed relief and was SO THANKFUL!!!! everything was working, everything was still here. my life, my files, my games, my everythinggggggg. so i ran diagnostics etc. the keys all work. the screen is fine. the speakers work. one thing doesnt, the microphone lol. woopdie fkn doo. lmao. #grateful!

Painted Dog Walks

leon started softball last week! i was suppose to go to his game but ended up not feeling good. i haven’t had a seizure in a while, since before i went to my dad’s but i was feeling dizzy and out of it i suppose so to be safe leon had me stay home instead of go to his first game as planned… i stayed home and slept and didn’t have a seizure and the guys ended up playing their first game not so well lol. they were given a mercy by the other team or something haha. but it is something fun for him this summer and cheap good fun. so that was last week wednesday and all his games will now be wednesday nights. thursday i got cleaning done all day and leon watched football. blah. friday leon, his family, and i went out to dinner and pacos tacos … a family favorite of the stillwell & calverts lol. mexican is not my favorite but i finally think i found a dish i like there! over the weekend i started painting back up! leon even went out and bought me new paint colors :) i decided to help with money costs this year as we are behind on the garage remodel i am going to do a painting for each family member. it will be a nice, loving, handmade, and not costly xmas gift for all. the idea lit a fire under my but and i did two paintings! lol i will have to make a PAINTINGS page on cassiedotcom.com soon to keep a little corner/record of all my work!IMG_20160825_174920 and then toooooooday this afternoon leon and i headed up to New Baltimore again to catch pokemon and enjoy the town. not many of the shops were open unfortunately but this one new custard shop we tried, it was cute we loved it. had some awesome ice cream with strawberries!! yum! then did some more walking and headed home. tonight we are going over his parents house again for dinner :) should be fun!

sidesalad* Ella is leaving tomorrow for her safety. we have been looking for a dfghjhome for her since the 16th our female sasha and her keep getting into horrible fights – for for her safety, their safety and ours she is moving to another temporary home :( i am deeply sad about this. so much stress on her. she is such a loving caring beautiful amazing pet and deserves so much love in return and i just wish all us humans could get our act together and give her what she needs physically and emotionally! praying for a forever home for ella! and saying goodbye to ella tomorrow :(

The Best Hosts

This past week I have been real busy with my grandma in preparation of her birthday party! After those seizures last week thankfully I was feeling much better, got the rest I needed, and had plenty of energy to help my leading lady out :-) andddd oy boy did she need help lol…

Heather & Derak's

Heather & Derak’s

Wednesday my gma and i got together as usual and prepped her house with moving things around for her, tidying the outside as she had plans to entertain outside if good weather… so we did just that and set everything up. Friday was her birthday, we spent some time together and did food prep for the party lol… lots of food prep because my gma really knows how to throw… scratch that, host a party! Even though it was in her honor I helped her work hard on getting a good spread out for everyone. Leon later came over that evening and helped putting up a shelf and a picture frame she really wanted. We gave her our little gift then headed over to derak and Heathers! They got their first place together :-) the guys watched football and we gabbed as usual. Thennnn saturday was the big day, the day of the party! My gma had me come over early and we cooked and moved things around even moreeeee for everything lol it was fun. Love her so much! At 5pm people started arriving, I helped the whole time ago she could enjoy some time with her brother! Which was awesome he came. Everyone ate, laughed, played games and even went through old photo albums gma has in her livingroom. The little ones enjoyed the Nintendo which makes me happy because it was part of my childhood too <3 everything went smoooooth. Only thing that went wrong.. I FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES!!!  :-(

Monday I had counceling like I do every week and it was a very lovely appointment :-) she un diagnosed me with major depression and severe anxiety!!!  Yay! My mental game is on point lately and I am doing fanfuckingtastick lol. We even moved my 20160816_135812appointments from every week to every other week! Progress! And then today Leon is out at work then a drake concert! I am not going because 300 for floor is too much $ considering I know like 4 of his songs haha. So I have the house to myself tonight! Hopefully I don’t get bored without my mister lol. Today is also leons parents 30yr wedding anniversary! They invited me, amy, and abby to go out to the movies with them this afternoon to celebrate. We of course saw a kid movie because abby was with us, we saw the real life of pets. Its was very funny I loved it. Jean and leon didn’t sit together but it was still cute they “did something” for their anniversary. You know? I pray to have a marriage where we stick together no matter what too. Anyways so here I am at home  blogging and hopefully enjoying this evening without Leon haha.

Throw Water?!

last wednesday i woke up and started the day normal further along i was on the phone with leon and switching the dogs outside to go to the bathroom, i let the dogs outside and made sure his dogs were not outside and he didnt see mine outside either … next thing i knew i hear the dogs going wild outside and ran out there to help get the dogs away from the fence and back inside so no one would get hurt. i threw my phone and went and got them, i got them inside and thats when i blacked out. leon was still on the phone waiting for me to get back to him and tell him everything was alright .. but what he heard was me come into the house, fall, and have a seizure. he got off the phone to call his mom who happened to be off on a walk with her daughter and grand daughter, she could feel his frustration when he heard she wasnt closer than he had hoped for so he quickly panicked more seeing who else was home and where everyone was and who could help. she took it personally as though he doesnt feel she should ever leave the house and do what she wants etc. but really he was just worried about my health. they hung up on eachother and he got ahold of his dad who was able to get into our house and keep an eye on me. i guess after some time i had another seizure and he didnt know what to do because i wasnt waking up or something so he asked leon if he should throw water on me! lmao what? oy! i had kinda assumed my family knew how to handle seizures before and after but hearing that was a huge wake up call that i need to get more info out there to my family and extended family. im going to do so this thanksgiving, pass out general info for each family to have :) its important! and no he did not throw water on me as leon said NO! haha but i later on i guess jean came home and leon left because i remember sitting in the living room with jean for a while and talking with her about the neighbor or something? Wish i could remember everything i said! lol cause who knows! from what i hear i can be pretty goofy when im out of it after seizures, so i like to hear the humor in the ugly of it all. ANYWAYS lots of sleep that night and rest.

600x600bb-85Thursday i relaxed more at home and started watching 7th Heaven season 1 episode 1! it is an oldershow from when i was in high school! i use to and still love this show even though its been over now for years! its been awesome re-going into the cute little family of seven who eventually have twins! :) i could go on and on about the show, if you have never seen the show its a good family show with lots and lots of good lessons ♥ later when leon came home we had dinner then went out to play some put put golf together and have some ice cream! it was a cute little date and loved it! and again today we went to sho-guns for another little date because i am fabulous and can talk him into things xoxoxo lol

Ten Year Warrior

this month marks TEN YEARS i have been diagnosed with uncontrollable Epilepsy!

68243be24d78b3868197e8d65c39fc30looking back on this past decade there have been many ups and downs and my disorder has manifested itself in a number of different ways resulting in me loosing independence, my rights to drive machinery, and my ability to maintain any part time job. these hurdles eventually broke me down as a person but over time i learned patience, acceptance, and found my inner strength! for many years i would cry and plead with anyone for an answer as to why me?! why do i have this burden? i would wake up confused from seizures and sob wondering “when will they stop? when will this end?” but as i grieved the old me, i learned about the new me….

over the years i found a part of me that i did not know existed, and with that i am thankful for my disorder. the burden i once carried became a fight i was proud to win each day! my relationship with my higher power became stronger and my inner being began to grow as i learned to adjust month after month, year after year. i am always and still learning more about myself as i am a constant work in progress. i have embraced gratitude and am thankful for the good and do my best to see the good in the bad. my negative mind is now a positive one as i battle each day, each week, each month, and each passing year as an epilepsy warrior.113855-glowing-purple-neon-icon-people-things-people-child2

my greatest achievement however is to have chosen a very strong partner who I will have been happily with for six years this year! he provides me with the will power i need everyday to be the best me i can be. looking back on these years i know I could not have done it alone, and thanks to my boyfriend Leon and God – i didn’t have to! I am lucky! Lucky to be here today, lucky to be an epileptic, lucky to have the support group i do, and lucky to be able to share my story as i embark on the next decade as an Epilepsy Warrior

 

Forts And Boats

IMG_20160730_151237Okay so saturday me, leon, and his friend went to mount clemens to play pokemon go… no kidding hahhaha. we spent like three hours doing and going out to lunch. we also stopped by the paintball field because leon had a tournament on yesturday lol and he needed to review the layout of the field hahha. so funny. they didnt do well, got last place in their division, sorry guys!IMG_20160730_232009 then Saturday night leons cousin CJ (the owner of Ella who is now up for adoption) had us babysit his son Braydon! He spent the night! it was intresting to say the least for leon and i to have a little one stay with us over night for the first time lol. i mean we have watched abby for a few hours but we have never watched a little one or kid over night so it was an experience! here  is what happened: He dropped him off and he instantly saw our xbox andIMG_20160730_232214 wanted to play leons batman game so leon helped teach him how to play for a few hours. abby came over for little a few and after i moved on to making dinner while leon kept braydon company. next thing i know i cut myself! right in the webbing on my fingers by my thumb! hurt so bad! so i had to get leon to come to my aid as we smiled at braydon to keep playing xbox haha. finished up dinner and then leon created a fort for bray .. which took them about 45 mins! as they did their guy thing i felt pretty left out as im use to girly things with abby! lol after all that fun we fell asleep to minions in the livingroom all together :)

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excited Abby #slipandslide

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closest i’ve been to a heli!

Sunday while leon played paintball i went with his family to his aunt and uncle’s house for the Saint Clair Shore Boat Races! it was a lot of fun watching the boats, seeing the helicopter following them around and up close. the kids were running around having a blast together as usual! yummy food and company in the summer! can’t go wrong! we stayed until the end and then a storm started coming in so we headed home. i was happy to see leon and tired from the weekend! it was nice to relax together for a little bit but he passed out real quick from running around all day at paintball haha. today starts August and a big milestone for me! See you next post! ;)

Moon Rocks

SO the yard clean up went AWESOME! except one thing… i kinda broke the blades on the riding lawn mower… oops! big oops! i mowed the entire back yard and front before it conked out and leon cleaned up everything with the week wacker and tore down all the tree 13781964_10154356346034591_1662621084432257638_nbranches i was talking about in my past posts. it was a job well done last weekend! we did even have to worry about dinner because leons parents invited us over their place for dinner outside so that was nice! and yummy! we had super exspensive steaks lol. onto health wise i had one small seizure last saturday in my sleep – probably because of after all the yard work.

on sunday i went to harsens island again with my family to celebrate my cousin johns 16th birthday. it was a small get together as it was planned last minuet but it was fun! my mom’s gift to john was an acre of the moon! hahha! so not only does he own a license but he owns property now at the ripe age of 16! lmao. leon didn’t come to harsen’s island as he had to work, so my mom and dennis picked me up etc! monday and tuesday i spend at home relaxing and getting things done because i had such a busy weekend. yesturday me and grandma went and did some shopping, looking around together and i took her to costco for her first time as we planned her birthday party next month!! we sent out invites and she started planning the menu haha. get one thing in our heads and we run with it! later last night me and leon went out to dinner at the lions club with leons family! and that completes today’s post! ♥